heyawesome!

moving!

2011-11-15T19:10:00.001-07:00

Okay buddies,
I've started a new blog! A blog solely dedicated to what's going on in my world beyond knitting & purling. Heyawesome! Will continue to be my craft blog - caregiv'r is my blog about being a....err... caregiver.
NEW BLOG IS HERE!

first bump.

2011-11-14T12:58:00.001-07:00

When G was first diagnosed with Leukemia in 2007, I quickly learned not to kick up my heels too soon once things were pronounced 'Done'.

When he was discharged from the hospital 2 weeks ago, we accepted people's congratulations, but we knew we weren't out of the woods just yet. There will *always* be bumps in the road.
I mentioned that he had been experiencing some well known side effects of transplant but that it was being kept under control by his meds. Seems now that maybe those meds aren't really doing a good enough job. He has GvHD of the gut - so he's having a heck of a time keeping things down (and in, as it were). For the past week I've seen him try to eat/drink the smallest portions of things only to have it come back up shortly after.
This morning he felt so weak - disoriented. He called the head nurse & she advised him to get to the ER as quickly as possible. It was then that I realized we didn't have a very good contingency plan in place. He was too weak to take a cab by himself...I could go with him with Frankie in the cab, but then how long could I stay with him for? Do I want to bring the baby to the ER? We thought of who we knew with a car who was around during the day....no one, not really. So the ambulance came.

He'll most likely be kept for a couple of days. They are hydrating him & the probably switching around some of his meds which will hopefully put him back on track.

There is so much going on right now. G's dad is in the hospital in Hamilton - his cancer has metastasized - he's putting in one heck of a fight (32 year kidney transplantee!) I think G gets a lot of his strength from his father - it's so admirable. I hate that all of this is happening at once. No, wait - I hate that all of this is happening AT ALL. Gord's mom & I said that we should go to an island after this & lay on the beach with fancy drinks "Without a care in the World!" - those words just kept ringing in my head over & over... without a care in the world. Impossible to imagine right now.

Home is where the High is.

2011-11-08T20:52:00.002-07:00

Gord's been home for 6 days.
He's pretty exhausted most of the time & is dealing now with some of the well known side effects of transplant but seems to be kind of controlling it with meds.
As I type this he's playing guitar for Frankie who is happily bouncing away in her bouncy chair, letting out squeals of delight & clapping her hands together (her new adorable skill!) It's so nice to all be together again.

I'm feeling way more relaxed now that G is home & I've finally been able to get some pictures of recent finished knitting projects.

First off, Frankie's Halloween costume.

Tiny Red Riding Hood. I used Berroco 'Weekend' from my stash for this. No pattern really, just cast on enough stitches to fit around her (98? I think?, knit even & then k2tog'd a bunch at the neck edge. For the hood I just knit a big rectangle that fit around her head & then grafted the stitches together at the back. Then I knit a little tab for the front & sewed on 2 buttons.

I 'Pretty in Pink'd' her skirt by combining two dresses that are now too small for her. I took the crinoline from one & sewed it to the bottom half of a red checkered dress. Then I sewed rick-rack to some thick black elastic & attached it to the skirt for the waistband. She just wore a white onesie for the top. I made her some boots too, but they didn't fit properly so luckily she already had these snappy red check mary janes already in her closet.

Knitting for Frankie is pretty satisfying - she's small, so projects are pretty quick and also?

Totally adorable.

This is the 'Striped Elf Hat'. I used some unidentified sock yarn from my stash. I only had one 50g ball of it & it was more than enough. I cast on less stitches than the pattern said to (170 instead of 180) to fit my little lady's noggin & it worked out to be just right.

And last but not least, a little something for me! I cast on for the River Run Wrap in TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT. Originally I was making it for my friend Susannah, but then she asked me to make her an all over cabled cardigan out of fingering weight yarn so I decided she already received enough of my knitting time.

I ditched the whole 'wrap' idea & decided to knit until I got to the end of the second ball of yarn. I grafted the ends together (conveniently enough this was started way back when with a provisional cast on) and there I have it - a 2 loop cowl. I think I'll get a lot of use out of this. When I wear Frankie in the carrier, I definitely need something around my neck since my coat isn't done up & when I wear scarves she just chews & slobbers all over the ends of them.

I've been sewing a bit too - mostly sleep sacks for Frances. I've been asked to make a little tutorial, so I'm working on that but I'm learning how much I suck at taking photos as I go along.

So that's it - simple days around here since we're pretty much living in a bubble for the next couple of months. It's okay though, it's a cozy bubble.

champion engrafter.

2011-11-02T09:07:00.000-06:00

How's this for an update?

He's coming home today!

(and I got a ton of tidying up to do around here so I'll write more later).

day +11

2011-10-25T15:46:00.003-06:00

Good news - he's engrafting!
For most of last week, his white blood cells were at 0.01, which is very, very low (.01 away from none?) on Sunday they went up to 0.04. Monday they were at 0.09 & today they are 1.1. This means that the new cells are setting up shop & making new ones. He was getting platelet transfusions, but they've stopped giving them to him because those are also on a tiny little increase on their very own.
He's off the morphine they gave him to ease the pain in his mouth & he ate some food I brought for him from home - which was great because he said he could actually taste it!
Lots of little progress, which I am so pleased about!

I realize I have not blogged about anything crafty for a while - I'm still at it & I've finished up some projects that I just need to take some photos of. Sadly, knitting is slow going for me these days on account of I got a bad case of Mother's Wrist. It got so bad that even pulling my sheets up over me when I got into bed made my eyes well up. I got Dr's orders to wear a wrist brace *all the time* for 6 weeks - which suuuuuuucks but hopefully it'll help out my wrist. I can still knit, it's just not as fast or as relaxing as it should be for me.

I get in some knitting everyday though, and now I have a little helper:

one week.

2011-10-22T08:25:00.002-06:00

Sorry I'm not posting more, but the truth of it is that there's not much to write about!

Gord's blood counts are all way, way down in the dumper (right on schedule), he's tired, queasy, sore in the mouth, but generally he is doing pretty good - definitely better than I was expecting. I hope I'm not eating my words in a couple of days though. The nurse told him yesterday that now until engraftment (usually around day +18, we're on day +8 now) takes place is when he'll feel the worst. Here's hoping the next week & a half is just as uneventful as these first 8.

Yesterday after I picked Frankie up from the PMH daycare (which, by the way is such an amazing, amazing service offered by he hospital. I am really truly amazed by it!) I brought her up to the doors of Gord's unit. He's not allowed to leave & kids under 9 aren't allowed in, so I stood with her at the little window in the door so they could see each other. It was so nice. I think Frances was really starting to notice he wasn't around - she had huge, huge smiles when she saw him.

The daycare is closed on the weekends & Frankie has her 6 month check-up on Monday so I won't be back to visit him until Tuesday - these next 3 days are going to feel very long.

A while ago, I saw these alphabet rings from Catbird & immediately wanted them. Three of them. They arrived to me (after some fancy shipping arrangements) the other day & I am thrilled. I love looking down & seeing my little family hanging out on my finger together.

so far, so good.

2011-10-16T09:31:00.001-06:00

I meant to come on & write an update on transplant day but I didn't get a chance. I have no excuse, really, since the transplant was actually pretty boring.

We (Gord's mom, my dad & I) got there right when he was being hitched up to his new cells. It took about an hour. Gord was a bit dopey from the Benadryl they gave him so he just rested & I stared at the little red bag. The tiny bag full of new cells from someone (in Europe, but we know nothing more than that) dripped into him. Quietly saying 'Thank You'. Boring. Just the way they like it.

After it was done, he ate his lunch & felt awake & alert & hungry enough to ask that I get him some Ten Don from the Japanese place near by.

My mom stayed home with Frances & stayed over that night so I could visit with him on Saturday. When I saw him yesterday he was feeling mostly good, just super tired. And although he's the one who is going through transplant, I was the one who napped during our visit.

So now we just wait...for what? For him to feel shitty, which apparently is a GOOD thing as it means the new cells are making themselves at home & engrafting.

It feels weird to not be able to just go there & hang out with him all day like I've been able to do in the past. Luckily, Frankie seems to really enjoy the daycare at the hospital - although this week hasn't been good at all for her nap schedule. Babies are resilient though & this is just a short time (hopefully).

I didn't take any photos of anything that happened in the last couple of days so here's a picture of Gord serenading the Lady the day before he went into the hospital. Ain't they sweet?

2011-10-13T18:57:00.000-06:00

The cells are in the building.
Friday at around 10:30am is transplant time.
He's going in strong.

Think of him. I really do believe in the power of many people sending positive energy at the same time.

xo

and.......go!

2011-10-10T22:58:00.000-06:00

You know the sound of a train starting up? (If you don't, go to youtube & type 'train start up' and get lost in the world of trainspotters....then come back here). It's what I keep thinking about. This train's starting up & there's a lot of track to travel.

Gord was admitted into PMH on Saturday and promptly came home on an overnight pass. Hooray! We had Thanksgiving dinner at our friend's house & got home in time to put Frankie to bed & then he took a cab back to the hospital. He kissed me goodbye & I stood at the top of the stairs casually waving at him, telling him I loved him & I'd talk to him soon. Just like when he'd leave for work in the morning.

His transplant will be on the 14th, but before then he has to go through a really intensive chemo & full body radiation. That will (hopefully) kill off any tiny Leukemia cells that are squatting in his system & will basically make his blood into just a red liquid in his veins. Then, in what sounds like the most uneventful life saving procedure ever, they will inject the donors cells into him by way of IV. They said it will take about 20 minutes.Then we wait for engraftment. There. Just like that. Isn't science cool?

Of course we know it's not as simple as that but why get yourself tangled up in all that could possibly happen? We know there will be the regular cast of characters - pain, nausea, weakness, fatigue, high risk of infection, nasty mouth sores. They gave us extensive lists of possible & common side-effects and risks but I'm really hoping things go as smoothly as they possibly can.

During his time in the hospital the toughest thing will be not being able to see Frankie. Kids under 10 aren't allowed on the transplant floor. Luckily there is a daycare there that I can drop her off at while I go hang out with G. In fact, we're going for the first time tomorrow. I hope she does okay. I'm a little worried about naps. They told me that if I just tell them how I get her down, they'll do the same. Okay: feed her, put a soother in her mouth, put her in the mai tai, sometimes she needs a hat to cover her eyes & shut off the stimulation, then put on a record (usually I-Roy) & then pat her bum & sway. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.

So yeah - I'm knitting stuff & I got some fancy finished things to show off but I wanted to come & post an update & will probably use this space to let family & friends know what's up.

Summer comes undone.

2011-08-28T17:34:00.004-06:00

I'm sitting in the Living Room & for the first time in months, there is a cool breeze coming through the window.

This summer has been good. Really good. At the beginning of July G ended up getting Pneumonia and a fungal lung infection (don't worry! it gets better!). He was in a bad way for a couple of weeks. Despite being on a pretty crazy cocktail of antibiotics & feeling pretty crummy, he never spent a day in bed - he got up, got dressed & did the day.

I've filed this under the 'Count your blessings where you find them' category because his Dr decided to put his chemo on hold so that he could properly recover from the infections. G recovered fairly quickly (although still has some of the fungal infection) and so we were set loose. Nothing to do but nothing. We Lazily started our days making delicious breakfasts. Afternoon walks & naps. Playing & cuddling with Frances - still pretty amazed that she's ours.

She's growing so fast (already 4 1/2 months!) and what a beauty she is. I can already tell she's going to have a good sense of humour & she's really agreeable & easy going.

We went away to a cottage with G's family for 5 days. Amazing to get away - and I was sure to drink up every moment of it. All of this living it up made it easy to forget what else is going on in our lives..... oh yeah...... Leukemia.

I just want more of this. Forever. A peaceful trio: G+N+F. Is it so much to ask? Is it too much to hope for?

When we got home from our mini vacation there was a message from PMH saying they had a date for the transplant. October 12th. He'll be admitted on the 6th. In the meantime he's back on chemo to keep him in remission. Back to reality.

how it's done.

2011-07-13T18:22:00.005-06:00

Yesterday we sat in a room and waited. For a very, very long time. Gord's mom & dad & I finally met with the transplant team to find out what we can expect from his BMT.

It was pretty surreal - the Dr spoke so factually. They will kill all of G's marrow with mega-chemo & full body radiation - make all his blood counts bottom out at zero, fill him back up with stem cells from someone else. Some unknown person somewhere out there in the world. He went through the risks, of which there are many: cataracts, skin problems, mouth sores, future cancers, relapse of his own disease, organ failure..and more. He went over the pro: the disease could be gone.

I sat as I always do, taking in the information like a sponge, probably looking pretty nonplussed. Truth of the matter is I was listening to someone explain to me the mortality rates & percentages of success in relation to my partner, my best friend, the father of my baby - the man I knew I wanted to spend my olden years with within the first week of knowing him. For me there is no other option. He's got to get through it.

summer knit.

2011-06-14T18:51:00.005-06:00

We've had a couple of real scorcher days. We caved & turned on the AC & had the ceiling fans running (ceiling fans are Frankies favourite things!). Our freezer has homemade lemonade popsicles in it & our fridge is nicely packed with delicious seasonal fruit & vegetables.

Summer!

And just in time for the heatwaves, I finished this:

Navajo Cardigan from the Patons book 'Anti Freeze'
Patons Classic Wool Roving

I started this sweater last May. I was hoping to finish it in time to bring on our trip to Newfoundland, but I only worked on it during lunch hour at work & didn't get it done in time & then it just lingered. When I packed up my stuff before going on mat leave, I found it neatly packed in a zippered bag & I promised I'd finish it. I made one big change - as written, the sleeves are too short for me so I did some math & charted them out & now they are perfect.

So...the sleeves fit, but the rest of the sweater is sadly too small for me at this time. When I began knitting this I was not pregnant & had no idea that my body would soon be swelling with a baby (and umm...like, several bagels & cream cheese). I ended up gaining quite a bit of weight in those 40 weeks & I'm having a heck of a time getting rid of it now.

I've tucked it away in a safe place & will hopefully get to wear it once the weather gets cold enough to need a big thick wool sweater.

Now that this is done, I am devoting what little knitting time I have to finishing a cardigan my friend Susanna asked me to knit for her FIVE YEARS AGO. I started it right when she requested it & then, well, stuff happened & my life went crazy & then it got lost in the land of UFOs. It's going nicely now though, and I have just one sleeve and a half to go. And guys? It's a beauty.

V.I.B.E!

2011-06-11T12:56:00.006-06:00

Very! Important! Blog! Entry!

The first time Gord was diagnosed with Leukemia it was a shock. The second time he was diagnosed it wasn't so much shocking as it was unfair. We were angry! Why was this happening to us *again*? Right when things were getting so good, right when our little family was about to begin?

I felt foolish for not thinking for even a second that he could relapse. Of course he could.

When we met with his Dr, he told us that this time his best chance for long term survival without relapse was a Bone Marrow Transplant. His brother & sister were tested but unfortunately were not matches. Gord's been dutifully going through chemo, but he was starting to question why and what if it didn't work? To be honest, spirits were dropping a little around here.

Then last week....!

Last week he got a call from his oncologists office saying they have found a match(!!!!) It is still very early stages & he doesn't meet with the transplant team until July, but for sure this has pumped some air back in his tires. He is thrilled, I am thrilled. Transplants come with their own lovely list of complications & I know it will be tough, but what this means is that there is a good chance he will be around for years & years & (hopefully) years to enjoy our family.

Which is great because lately, he & Frankie have become total BFFs...

Now, how did they find Gordie a match? Through a mega huge database of possible donors. Wonderful people who have taken the time (approx 2 minutes) to put themselves in the registry. Want to be one of those wonderful people? If you are Canadian, check out onematch. For our American neighbours, visit be the match.

You will get a swab kit mailed to you & the it is as easy as...

swabby swab here
and a shwabber here...
And then a swabberino over here...
And then one last swab-a-lab-a-ding-dong over here...
Stick them in the slots (honestly, this was the hardest part)
And then mail 'er off!
Hopefully one day I'll get the call & I can pay it forward.

xoxo!

(FYI - I changed the comment settings on my blog, I think some people were having trouble - should be right as rain now!)

whole lotta love.

2011-06-01T10:29:00.007-06:00

What's been happening?

Some of this...

Some of this...

Often there is this...

But more often than that, there is this...

I figure we must be doing something right.

Gord's doing well - tired a lot of the time, but mostly good, I think. That might be easier for me to say than for him. We got through his first hospital stay since the baby without any trouble. It was hard for both of us - for him to be away from his baby & for me to be away from my babe. He was in for 5 days & we visited him only once. A lot different from the days when I could just go & sit beside him for hours on end. He's halfway through the consolidation bit - what comes after that is unknown for now - they are searching for a bone marrow match, but what if they can't find one? I wish could just wiggle my nose or click my heels & make it Go. Away. Oddly enough, having the baby around makes things a little easier. We have this super awesome person to take our minds off of the dark stuff.

It's hard to get lost in sadness when this is who you get to spend your days with.

do the boob.

2011-05-11T18:56:00.000-06:00

Food.

One of our most basic needs, and one I was having a heck of a time giving my little lady. I struggled with breastfeeding from day one in the hospital. For the first week of Frankie's life I was a wreck. I was a sweaty, topless banshee. I smelled like I had hiked the entire Bruce Trail.
I was told nursing may be difficult for me as I didn't have much breast tissue - but it didn't really hit me what that meant.

What that meant was that Frankie wouldn't ever be satisfied & would be screaming to be fed - and if she wasn't screaming, she'd grumpily fall asleep - probably just to take her mind off her hunger. She would then wake up...screaming to be fed.

So I called the Lactation services of the hospital & they comforted me & told me to come in - they told me they could help me.

And boy howdy did they! Breastfeeding brings with it so! many! emotions! - and the guilt I felt about not being able to provide my kid with her only real demand broke my heart. It made me cry several times a day. The lactation consultant I got hooked up with gave me back my sanity - she told me it was OK - she patiently held my hand & guided me through all my options; and I tried them all. Herbal supplements, tube feeding, finger feeding, nipple shields, pumping, formula supplementing, prescription meds, understanding that happy mom = happy baby & coming to peace with the fact that giving my baby formula was not going to mess her up.

Now I am weaning off the prescription meds (side effects are NOT cool - I feel worse 5 weeks postpartum than I did 40 weeks pregnant!), I am pumping, I am happy to be giving Frankie about 50/50 Breast milk/formula & although I am sad to not have to go to see the Lactation consultant anymore, I am glad that Frankie & I have hammered out some kind of deal & we are able to forge ahead on our own.

How to thank someone for getting me through the toughest thing I've ever had to go through?

No, it's not a curling stone - it's a knitted boob!

I wasn't sure how it'd be received but I'm happy to report that she loved it. She more than loved it - she squealed! It was like she had always wanted a knitted breast & now she finally had one. She even said they may call upon me to make more for teaching purposes.

Have a beloved Lactation Consultant in your life? Knit them a boob!

can I get a hand?

2011-05-06T10:54:00.006-06:00

I knew having a baby would mean that I'd have to give up some of my freedoms:
The freedom to sleep in
The freedom to go out whenever I wanted
The freedom to drink as many beers as I wanted when I when out
Heck, the freedom to go to the bathroom when I needed to?

But one thing I didn't really think about is that my freedom of using my hands, my arms would be taken away by my tiny boss. And really, I'm on the clock more often than not.

It's for this reason I'd like to get an Amen for the Baby Carrier. .

I started out using the Moby. This wrap is good for around the house - but considering it's 18 feet of jersey fabric, I was having difficulty imagining going anywhere with it. Because of the length, it takes a while to put it on & get it right & I had to watch several youtube videos to get it right.

But hey, it let me make & eat breakfast!

It has it's downsides - Frances doesn't like getting in it. Part of this may be my technique, but it takes a couple of minutes for her to remember that 'Oh yeah, I like being snuggled up in here...' BUT! She does not like to be snuggled up in there for very long & when her time is up it. is. up. And oh - she usually throws up upon entering the Moby - so there's one part near the front that's gnarly & when you wash this thing, it shrinks right the heck up & takes a bit to stretch back out.
She usually falls asleep quickly, but doesn't like her head to be tucked in the pocket for support - so I find myself supporting her head with my hand a lot of the time which defeats the purpose.

It sounds like I don't like the Moby, but really - this was the gateway to freedom for me!

Today I remembered that months & months ago I made a Mei Tai carrier using the tutorial at Still Learning the Game of Life
When I made it, I kind of shoved it aside as I doubted its usefulness. It seemed big & bulky & cumbersome. I wanted to be sure it was sturdy, so I used heavy fabrics & reinforced the Hell out of it.

Frankie is going through some kind of phase where she'll fall into a deep sleep when she's on my chest, but as soon as I put her down to nap it's fusspot city. This morning I put her in the Moby & we were fine for a while, but it got hot & sweaty in there & after about 45 minutes she was screaming to get out.

On a whim I thought I'd try out the Mei Tai - to see if it really was a waste of the afternoon it took to make it.

Verdict?

COMPLETE FREAKING SUCCESS!!

I love it! I like it a lot more than the Moby - there's nice air flow, there's more head support (thanks to the padded headrest!) and it is way, way easier & faster to put on. It's still pretty huge, and it might be a pain to use out & about, but still....

She did not scream or throw up when I put her in there!

Just more proof that handmade is often far superior.

(that being said, I'm DYING to get my hands on a beco carrier - which I think will be great for around town & for Gord to use.....but for now? Mei Tai it is!)

gonna dress you up in handknits.

2011-05-01T18:34:00.004-06:00

Hello from babyland!

Things seem to be hitting some kind of sort-of-rhythm. That 'rhythm' is eat, sleep, poop - but hey, I'll take it! At least 'sleep' seems to be a bigger part of the equation than it was that first week & a half.

I've even found a way to squeeze some knitting into my days. It is so nice to fit in some *me* time since our world suddenly is so All About Baby.
Still though, my me time seems still to find a way to be All About Baby.

Elizabeth Zimmerman's Baby Surprise Jacket.
Handspun my parents brought home from Scotland - I had about 1 yard left over. A very close call!
Nothing to say about this pattern that hasn't been said before. Fun to knit & fun to watch form.

'Cardigan Raglan' from La Droguerie's Tous le Bebes
Misti Alpaca Solids.
This pattern was *very* cryptic - or should I say 'cryptique'? I got it from a french book - so there were some educated guesses to be made, but I think I got it right & it fits like a glove. I started this 2 days before I went into labour & had one sleeve left to do. I finally found the time to finish it up last night. At the rate she's eating & therefore growing, this won't fit for long so it's a good thing I got it done.

Gord & I have had to blend our rooms together; My sewing room + his music studio stuff = WHOAH! That's a lot of stuff crammed into a tiny room! My main focus now is for real to use what I got & to finish off lingering projects.

Next up on my naptime knitting?

Yes! A sweater...for ME!

Frankie.

2011-04-25T12:16:00.006-06:00

Welcome to the world, Frances Marian!

When I woke up at 5am on April 7th, I wasn't sure if what I was feeling were contractions. I took a bath and tried my best to relax, but the discomfort wouldn't go away & seemed to be picking up pace. I texted Bianca, our Doula to tell her what was going on & she called me back & said it looked like we were going to Babytown that day.

In prenatal class we were told that early labour could last up to 12 hours - and that you should go to the hospital once contractions were 5 minutes apart for 1 hour. Mine went straight to about 2-3 minutes apart. Our awesome friend Avril came over to drive us to the hospital right smack dab in the middle of morning traffic & Bianca made it just in time (I was getting super edgy & was insisting on just going to the hospital without waiting for her to arrive). I kept looking out the window & thinking 'Everyone else is going to work...I'm going to have a baby!'

My labour was, quite honestly, wonderful. There is nothing I would have done differently, I progressed quickly through all stages, she came out with 9 minutes of pushing & Gord was able to be there for the whole entire thing - he cut the cord & got skin on skin contact with her right after I did. Having a doula was the best thing we could have possibly done - she was so awesome! It really made all the difference for us.

It's been 3 weeks now & I still cannot believe I made her!

I've scoured every inch of her body & there is not one single thing wrong with her.
The first week was pretty hairy - I was having lots of Breastfeeding issues, but things are starting to sort themselves out now.

She even spends some of her time with her eyes open!

We're totally in love with her. She's a real (Niagara) peach.

Now... to figure out how to get some knitting in!

you give me fever.

2011-04-05T12:41:00.003-06:00

One thing I was glad to say goodbye to the first time G went through treatment was the whole taking his temperature thing.

Every hour or so, he'd pop the thermometer into his mouth & I'd hold my breath until I heard it beep.
'What is it?'
'No fever.'
PHEW.

or:
'FUCK!'

Now, again, the same sense of dread every time he slips the thermometer under his tongue.
He's been neutropenic since he was discharged from the hospital & we've been keeping a close eye on his temperature. Anything over 38 & we're supposed to go to the ER. So last night, he was hovering.... 37.9....38.2.....37.5......38.... finally, we decided to just go. Not really where either of us wanted to be, but it had to be done. I left him there at 2am, when we were told he'd be admitted - something, probably an infection but they don't know where, was causing the fever. (Props to the TGH triage nurse though - who, upon finding out I was very nearly 40 weeks pregnant arranged to have a more comfortable chair put in the room!)

So I came home & slept (uncomfortably) and today, apparently, he will get to come home. There's home care visits to give him (yet more) antibiotics & I am trying to stay rested & as relaxed as possible to keep this baby hanging in there until G feels better. So far, she is very agreeable.

tiny knits.

2011-04-03T13:13:00.008-06:00

Baby showers are fun - but even more fun when they involve pinatas! And adorable hand knits!

The lovely ladies at work threw me a wonderful shower before I left. A superb potluck spread, the Most Delicious Cake I've Ever Eaten, homemade pinata (!!) and a wealth of thoughtful & sweet as pie gifts.

Here I am with the talented pinata makers - it took many, many thwumps to bust this open - I ended up having to punch it open with my fists!

One of the (many) perks of working where I do is that my co-workers are very smart & talented. And they are knitters. So what happens when there's a baby on the horizon? The sticks get busy!

Adorable hats from Suzanne! I love the tiny tam!

And what's this? Svetlana sees a sweater on a baby journal & decides to show off by re-creating the sweater? Seriously - matching sweater & journal? My baby is one lucky lady!

Not one to be outdone, Gayle hit it out of the park with this tiny & perfect fair isle cardigan. So cute it brought tears to my eyes when I opened it up!

And just in case all of this wasn't enough - just on the off chance I wanted to be sent over the edge into cuteness coma, Julia served up this sugary sweet concoction.

Yeah!
Months ago, when being pregnant was my own special secret, Gayle came back from a trip to Paris with some wonderful pattern books from La Droguerie. I casually flipped through them, and then not so casually flipped out when I came across an adorable Strawberry Jumper & its matching co-ordinates. I became somewhat fixated on it - when the Ultrasound technician told us we were having a girl, the strawberry jumper was the first thing I thought of. Why then, did I put off making it? I couldn't find the right yarn, mostly - and then things got sort of hectic in my life & I didn't have time for searching. Julia not only re-ignited my Jumper desire, but she also included the yarn for me to make it! I'll be casting on shortly!

Along with these hand knits, came lots of other grade-A gifts. This baby is already spoiled!

And how's this for a heart-warming scene?

There's Gordie - knifty knitting a hat for the little lady. He's a total knifty knitter expert! He's almost done, which is a good thing since I'm only 4 more sleeps away from my due date!

where the heart is.

2011-03-29T22:36:00.002-06:00

That month went so much faster than I thought it would. Thank God.

Gord was discharged from the hospital on Saturday! Honestly, this couldn't have happened at a better time. I was really starting to loose steam. Going to work & going to the hospital (almost) every day was really starting to take a toll on me. Luckily, I had my last day of work last week & Gord is home & now I can relax. Kind of. It was my birthday on Sunday & honestly - all I wanted was for him to be home. It was nice to get my wish.

The nature of the new protocol G's on is different than the first go-around. There's way, way more hospital time. He's doing something called Hyper CVAD - which is 8 rounds of 'Cycle A & B'. Cycle A is done as an outpatient, twice a week going to PMH. Cycle B is given every 21 days (depending on counts) and requires a 10 day admit into the hospital. B cycle really does a number on him - mega high dose of some pretty brutal stuff. How we will work this with a baby in the mix is not yet clear, but I am so glad I don't have to also juggle work!

And me? Creeping closer to my due date, mindful of every single twinge & new sensation I feel -- wondering if any of it *means* anything. I'm nudging up to the 39th week & incredibly thankful (and somewhat surprised) that I feel this good. My feet aren't swelling, my blood pressure is nice & low, even my hormones are mostly in check. Hard to believe that some time within the next couple of weeks this little person will be in my arms & not taking up so much space inside my body.

They threw me a wonderful shower at work - I'll show off the goods in my next post. Lets just say, it's really nice to have knitwear designers as co-workers.

Inching.

2011-03-23T16:54:00.005-06:00

I'm 37 weeks, 6 days. 2 weeks away from D-Day. Seems like only yesterday I was peeing on the stick & waking a sleeping & disoriented Gord up to tell him that there was something(someONE) growing inside me.

Things are mostly in place - we got diapers (a bunch of prefolds & covers), we got a place for her to sleep, a place for her to take a bath, and a bajillion tiny outfits. Now, all we need is a baby. And for Gord to come home.

Just need some tiny feet to put in these.

Gord's been doing well - some days are better than others, but on the whole I'd say the good ones far outweigh the bad. It's easy for me to say that though. He was able to come home for 2 nights last week on a hospital pass. It gave him the opportunity to see the painted nursery & make me dinner (!). I had 2 of the best nights sleeps I've had in about a month. There's a chance he'll be home this week, which is great. I'm really hoping to have at least a week of not doing much of anything.

Help has been coming in from all directions & it's been wonderful. I don't know what I did to win the friend lottery, but I'm sure thankful. Not being afraid of asking for help is a new & useful skill! I just hope I can repay all of these amazing favours some day.

xo

big.ger.

2011-03-15T21:33:00.003-06:00

I get bigger & slower everyday.

It's incredibly frustrating because I want to be able to help G as much as I can, but the truth is - I'm loosing steam. Balancing work (only got 1 1/2 weeks to go!!), growing a tiny person & being there for my guy is sure taking a lot out of me. In some ways, the fact that this is a relapse has it's perks. We don't have the same worry & fear of the unknown. We've been through it before, we know what to expect. Energy is not spent worrying about what is ahead of us. I know all too well what's coming up.

strange days.

2011-03-12T16:10:00.002-07:00

So much going on with the whole world, the universe & everything. My heart & mind is all over the place.

Yesterday when I opened the front door to go to my OB appointment, everything felt... different.
I can't really explain it & Thursday was a heavy day - a couple of things happened that got both Gord & I thinking about the whole world, the universe & everything. Despite waking up to the devastating news of what was happening in Japan, I felt good. Light. Hopeful.

My appointment went well - everything's going good, I'm right on track. I can't believe it, but now I'm at the point where I have a Drs appointment every week. I'm so thankful that I've had such an 'easy' pregnancy. I hope she's this nice to me when she's on the outside.

After seeing the Dr I felt so great...so happy. I wanted to see Gord & just enjoy the day. We ended up having the nicest, most relaxing day! He's got an exercise bike in his room to help keep his strength up, so he'd hop on there & I lounged in the reclining chair (this chair changes visits!! My hips are getting bigger every day & the tiny chair I was sitting in before was rotten!) We watched the news, I knit, I got us snacks, G's friend came for a visit. It felt like we were hanging out in a poorly furnished hotel room. It was lovely.

We talked about how it felt weird to be having such a fine time in light of our circumstances. We know that there are some seriously tough days ahead of us though, so for now, I am not going to feel guilty or bad about enjoying the good ones.

our beast friend.

2011-03-11T19:18:00.005-07:00

Wednesday I went & hung out with G. By the time I got there, he had just finished getting a platelet transfusion. He gets these lots & has never had a problem with them. Today though, he had a reaction. itchyitchyitchy all over, mouth felt like it was closing in & his face went very flush. They shoved steroids in him and gave him (lots of) Benadryl.

As he was drifting off into a Benadryl coma, he asked where Quatchi was.

Quatchi....sasquatch, something of a 'spirit animal' to us - been with us through thick & thin, some of our best jokes have been told through him, plays a larger role in our lives than is probably 'healthy' or 'socially acceptable' but whatever. Quatchi had been hanging out a PMH, keeping Gord company & looking out the window at traffic copters.

It was difficult for me to part with him...I sleep with him every night (and he likes to hang out on my tummy) and being without both him & Gord took some restless nights to get used to.

But I couldn't find him. Anywhere. Long story short - Quatchi is somewhere within the UHN laundry services - we've made more calls than you'd expect in an effort to find him. There are lots of eyes on the lookout for Quatchi. Fingers crossed.

thank you for being a friend...

2011-03-05T23:20:00.006-07:00

Accepting help when it is offered, and especially asking for it, has always been hard for me. The first time Gord was sick, when people asked if they could help & what they could do, my answer would always be 'Nothing, we're fine.' I felt like the energy I had had to be used on myself & taking care of G. I didn't have any to spare on other people - I couldn't waste it. What I didn't realize until it was far too late, was that way of thinking only drained my energy more.

This time around, we've made a pact - we're accepting help.

This past weekend, we called upon two friends to come over to paint the nursery (!!!!) It looks amazing. I'm really, really happy with it & I am so thankful that Donald & Avril could help. Avril even arrived with 2 bags of groceries (!!!) - so that was also really wonderful. I'm really feeling the love (and it feels great!)
I helped with what painting I could, but mostly I sat & watched while they asked me lots of questions about the baby & being pregnant & I just ate it up. I put the crap that's happening aside & was just a pregnant lady, enjoying her pregnancy for a while. It was refreshing!

G called as the painting was happening & I showed him the painting in progress on video chat, which was so great - he wants to be a part of all this stuff, so it was good for him to feel like he was 'here'.

Now the room is ready for 'stuff'. The baby will sleep in our room for the first several months, so technically, this isn't *her* room, but rather a room for family to stay. One sad thing for me since finding out the Cancer is back, is letting go of our vision of life for after the baby arrives. We pictured ourselves cuddled up, just the 3 of us, bonding as a new family. This new reality is so different. Yesterday we found out that Gord will most likely be in the hospital well into April. A month ago, I was worried that he'd only get 2 weeks off of work - how was I going to take care of the baby on my own once he went back? Now, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to look after the baby on my own right from the beginning. Luckily my mom is coming to stay for a little while, which is amazing & reassuring. I'm going to try & make the room into a cozy place for her (and others) to be while she's away from home.

The light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

2011-03-04T17:25:00.003-07:00

Since my last post, there have been about a million times I've thought to myself "This would make a great blog post!" But I wouldn't write it - I was far more concerned with living it.

After this post where I so excitedly wrote about Gord & I having come through what we thought would be the worst part of treatment, there still lay before us a bumpy, bumpy road. Sure, there were more ups than before, but it was tough - and it was during this tough time when I thought for the first time since his diagnosis we might actually lose him.

BUT! Like the su-per-per Troop-per-per Gord is, he rose above it & everyone marveled at how just totally awesome he is & he bounced back. The end of chemo came, life returned back to its normal, simple pace - we took some great trips, I started focusing hardcore on my own health, we had a chance to live happily as a normal, everyday couple, I got pregnant (!!), we got engaged, and.....

Gord's cancer came back.

Now, for real, I'm going to blog.

I got pregnant in July - I am due on April 7th (5 weeks!). On February 18th, we found out that Gord's ALL had relapsed. Yeah, kind of a crummy time line.

A lot of the reason I want to blog now, at this incredibly crazy time in our lives, is that when I went to the internet to find some support, I could find nothing. What? No one's been pregnant with a partner going through chemo? There must be! I need to have an outlet to share my experience as both caregiver & new mom & I'd like to quite possibly help someone else in
this same situation if I can.

So here's what's happening now:
Gord was admitted into Princess Margaret last Friday to begin his month-ish long induction period. Thankfully, his Drs are aware of my looming due date & they are trying their best to ensure Gord is able to be at the birth, even if he has not yet been released from the hospital. Luckily the hospital I am delivering at is attached by bridge to PMH!

He is on a different protocol than the first time, which makes sense. Another big difference this
time is that they are really pushing for a Bone Marrow Transplant. This, of course, brings along its own terribly scary list of risks but no more scary than enduring 2 more years of chemotherapy. He is ready for the fight, and I am ready to stand along side him.

And someone else is, too! The thing we cannot forget in all of this, the thing that is giving both of us the determination & strength to go down what we know will be a terribly difficult road is our baby. Our tiny little lady.
She nudges me often, reminding me that she's still here, happily growing inside me. Ready to be a source of strength & light to us both.

Tangled up in Blue(ish green).

2009-04-10T15:38:00.004-06:00

Well, it only took about a million years, but it's done!

Tangled Yoke Cardigan! Done! Checkmark!

I didn't mind taking my time with this project - it was a joy to knit from the very beginning. I used Rowan Felted Tweed in 'Water'. I loved working with this - a lot! The knitted fabric is so soft & light while still being warm - it's wonderful.

I wasn't sure about what kind of buttons to put on, but in my last post, Julia suggested something 'vintagey' while Amy commented that she was quite happy with the Mother of Pearl jobbies she used on her own cardigan. That's when the light bulb went on in my head. I have vintage Mother of Pearl buttons! But did I have 9 of the correct size?

Yes, yes I did.

Effin' A! Button luck like that doesn't happen often around here, so I was more thrilled than some might think necessary as I sewed them on.

Even makes my droopy butt look good?

Now, my only concern about this sweater is that it felt...I don't know, more *substantial* before I blocked it. I think it grew too much in blocking & now the arms are a little bigger & longer than I'd like. While the fit is just right right now, I'm worried that my somewhat new, determined interest in my own physical health means that in a couple of months, it's going to be a little too big & look messy (props to myself by mentioning that I was about 25 pounds heavier when I started this sweater?). I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there & maybe that will be when I test out the (shiver) machine washability of this yarn. (oh god oh god what if I ruin it? calm down, I'll cry about ruining it when it actually happens..)

up there there was a squirrel - causing mischief.

Straight from the stash.

2009-03-29T16:49:00.005-06:00

A while ago I made a mental promise with myself that I would finish up projects I already had going, use fabric I already had in my stash, spin fiber I already had & chip away at my yarn stash. I didn't *really* expect to stick to it though - it was just a little voice that would pipe up to remind me that I had plenty of yarn at home, or that I had beautiful sweaters on the needles, or that I could make a good amount of dresses & quilts with fabric I already own.

I'm surprised to have stuck to it - and even more surprised when I actually *give* myself permission to start something new, or to buy yarn & I end up forgoing it - telling myself all I have to do is fall back in love with the projects & materials I already own. Make them new...again!

It started with my sock yarn stash. I decided to knit chronologically from it. To my amazement, I have pretty much stuck to it. I have only bought 3 skeins of sock yarn in the past year or so (I KNOW, RIGHT??)

The latest completed project are these beauties:

Socks for Gord from some Trekking Pro Natura sock yarn. I remember the day I bought this -
how intrigued I was by the bamboo content...that was years ago - Bamboo is a
totally common fiber in yarns now!

I loved knitting these - the colours are calming, the yarn is lovely, and the weight is nice & light. A+! (This photo was taken after a couple of times through the washer - hence the pilliness)

And today I finished my Kaffe fasset Regia socks - a special treat for my own feet.

I'm wild about this colour combination, but was so frustrated by the short yardage of this stuff. I ran out of yarn with only about 4 rows to go in my second sock. Luckily, I had turquoise DK Superwash yarn in my stash that fit right in.

I've also made great headway with my Tangled Yoke Cardigan. I have only the button bands to knit. When I took this off the needles, after completing the neckband, I was almost sick to my stomach with absolute, pure joy. Seriously. I love this so much I could vomit.

I want great buttons for this...where should I get some great buttons? I'm not sure if I want to go way over the celtic top with this & get celtic-y pewter buttons or if I want to keep things in this same colour family. I love these indulgent decisions we get to make as knitters!

tangled.

2009-03-01T10:57:00.004-07:00

For much, much longer than I care to admit to (a check in my Ravelry project information for this sweater, tells me I started it in September of 2008!) I have been working on the Tangled Yoke Cardigan. I love this project. I love the yarn (Rowan Felted Tweed), I love the feel of the knitted fabric, I know I will love the yoke cables... but I am dragging my heels on it. For months the body of the sweater has lingered in my sewing room...then I finally finished a sleeve, which hung out in the living room...the other sleeve was tucked into my bedside table . All these pieces of sweater everywhere...

There is an incredible sense of peace I feel once pieces of a sweater are finally joined. A "phew! The Gang's finally all here!" sort of relief. I finally got to feel that feeling last weekend when I joined the truant sleeves to the main body of this thing.

Awesome. I love it even more now - it's no longer a heavy grey Charlie Brown storm cloud following me around. Arms & body are together, the cable chart is just on the horizon! I can see it!

And then...
Oh! Snap! My needle has broken. The bamboo has split & the knitting on this cardigan is put on hold once again. (you can insert a fog horn boat noise here.)

So now, until I can get myself a new needle, I am happily working on this beauty:

It is 'A New Design in Cable Stitch' - A pattern from Woman's Weekly, 13 July 1940. A sweater requested by my friend Susannah.
I'm using Elann Baby Cashmere in 'Serengeti Sand.' It's lovely, the cables are lovely & I like working from a vintage pattern. I've been tempted to change a few things about it, but I'd like to stay as true to it as possible. Susannah takes the authenticity of her vintage clothing fairly seriously.

Knit out.

2009-02-22T13:10:00.008-07:00

How's this for bad blogging?
Last week I went on a fabulous work trip - a trip to the 'Knit Out' at Mall of America & not only did I fail to mention I was going, but here I am dragging my heels in coming here to tell you that I went & it was fun. Exhausting, but fun.

I had never been in the presence of so many knitters & crocheters before! They took over the whole place - it was great to see a variety of people. I was at the Spinrite booth - answering questions & talking to people about upcoming patterns & yarns while they waited (and waited) in line. Because of the high volume of people, I didn't get a chance to see any of the other booths or watch the fashion show, but reports were that everything was pretty fun.

This was the line-up to get to our booth on Saturday - pretty crazy! I was happy to see so many men with their ladyfriends on Valentine's Day.

The woman knitting had her pattern tucked in the hood of her friend's sweater ahead of her in line. She stuck her knitting in there too!

Mall Mascot for the 'Underwater Adventures' pretending to eat our froggy washcloth.

After my long day of chatting up knitters, I put myself on the Light Rail and headed to Minneapolis to meet up with a crafty internet friend - it was great!

Jackierocket! This past year has been a weird one, socially, for me. Hanging out with JR was so relaxing & fun - I'm glad I mustered up the energy to get out of my hotel room. I didn't stay out too late though, Sunday was a brand new day of Knit Out fun. By the end of it, my throat was scratchy & I was suffering big time from healthy food withdrawl (Not many vegetarian options at any of the places we went...) - but I was high on all the great ideas I got from talking to so many people. *highfive!*

My trip knitting for this was socks for me with some of the Kaffe Fasset Regia sock yarn. I've been diligently knitting only from my stash & was pretty excited to finally knit with this stuff.
I cast on in the airport, knit on the plane & when we touched down 2 hours later, I had turned the heel & picked up the gusset stitches. I didn't have much yarn left, but I kept knitting hoping it would magically turn into more.

It didn't.

In the airport on the way home, Sara was nice enough to rip the entire thing back & I restarted from the beginning.
My initial cast on was 66 stitches - too much. I cast on 60 this time & started the heel flap about 1 1/2 inches sooner than on my first go.

I finished just under the wire with just the tiniest bit of yarn left over.

If you think I'm soxy.

2009-01-18T14:10:00.005-07:00

I know Toronto is just a tiny speck on the map, and I know that where I (and tens of thousands more) live is but an even tinier speck, but when the power went out on Thursday night, it was big news. It became even bigger news when we were told that it'd be up to 24 hours before heat & electricity would be restored to our part of the city.

For the first 20 minutes or so of the blackout, Gord & I tried to pass the time by playing our ongoing game of Monopoly & listening to the wind-up radio. It didn't take long before trying to read the Community Chest & Chance cards by candlelight got old & we packed it in.
Power was back on by about 9:30 the next night & just in time too, since after almost 24 hours the temperature in our apartment was getting pretty crisp...or 'frigid' as I am quoted as saying in this article. Notice the bit about wearing hand knit socks? I made them promise to include that part.

And what a convenient segue!

Hot off the needles - I present to you...

BEST!

SOCKS!!

EVER!!!

Why are they the best socks ever?

Because I spun the yarn myself!

And then I knit it into these socks! That I am wearing on my feet as I type this!
Amazing!

I did run into a snag - I had only the toe decreases to do when I ran out of yarn..

So I had to spin some more up just so I could finish...and of course since I have too many projects on the go, I didn't get around to doing that until this morning - when, in an astoundingly speedy spinning & knitting session, I finished up these adorable little socks. I've been patting myself on the back ever since.

Superwash Merino roving in 'Tahiti' from Spunky Eclectic
I started spinning this in June, finished the socks in January. 7 months for a pair of socks? Totally worth it!
I used a great drop spindle from Yellow Dog Farm - also purchased from Spunky Eclectic.

And this isn't the only pair I knit during that time...

Clockwise from the top left, Socks for Gord - out of unidentified sock yarn. Monkey socks for my mom out of Regia Cotton....which, to be honest, were so very hard to give away. Socks for Gord & a pair for me - both out of dgb sock yarn from my stash.

I sometimes finish things & give them away before I realize I haven't taken any photos of them. Aside from these 4, I knit 3 pairs of socks for various men in my life. A pair for my dad, a pair for my brother in-law Scott & a pair for Kie, Gord's brother in-law. I'm still making my way through my sock yarn stash, currently chipping away at (surprise!) a pair of socks for Gord.

2009-01-11T12:59:00.002-07:00

Okay, okay.....2009 - my year for blogging, I swear.
Let's just forget that weird lull ever happened, hm?

You know those projects that you don't remember knitting? Those ones that just all of a sudden show up, asking you to weave in their ends so it can be officially done?

My Gathered Pullover is one of them. I got this yarn in the summer & started casually knitting this on the bus on my way to & from work. When it got too big, I stuffed it in my bedside table & would throw in a row or two now & again. When I got to the cable, I did it one afternoon when I didn't feel like working on my other projects. I took a sleeve with me over Christmas holidays & finished the other one on the bus. Which brings me to Friday, when I wove in the ends & realized that I had a *fabulous* little sweater on my hands.

Pattern: Gathered Pullover by Hana Jason Ravelry link here.
Yarn: Patons Classic Wool in 'Dark Natural Mix'

I'm totally smitten with this one - probably because it sort of appeared from out of nowhere - and I'm 100% happy with the fit. I had some worries before I picked up the neckline stitches - it was huge & messy. To compensate, I picked up less stitches than the pattern called for to bring in the V-neck. I couldn't be happier with how it turned out & I am incredibly proud of how neat & tidy & perfect my picked up stitches are.

I worked less rows of neckline than the pattern called for as well, since that rolley edge business is not for me. I also worked a knitted hem in the sleeves and bottom edge. I sort of regret doing this in the sleeves as I could have them about an 1 1/2" shorter, but there's no going back. At least this shows that I'm past my nasty habit of not making sleeves & bodies of sweaters long enough.

Two thumbs up for this one!

Over my break from blogging I finished a couple choice projects - I'll start sharing them soon. I'll sprinkle posts about them in between my current stuff. Current stuff lately means finishing up all my WIPs. I'm dedicated to a new project in/project out rule to help keep a cap on my compulsive project starting. So far so good, and now that this sweater is done I can put some new socks on the needles.

Sha-wing!

2008-11-05T16:49:00.002-07:00

Some comeback eh? I write all about how I wanna come back & so on & then....nothing.
Like Gord says though, it's like riding a blogcycle.
I half-assedly promise to post more regularly. Kinda.

I was in dire need of a Spring/Fall jacket - I was falling into the slippery slope of the Canadian Tuxedo far, far too often. Trolling etsy one day, I spotted some totally amazing fabric & picked up a pattern & got to work.

It's McCalls M5711 , with totally amazing plastic bags stuck in tree branches fabric from Passenger Pigeon. I started this at the begining of October, thinking it would take me 2 days, max. It ended up taking much longer, and I kept running into really weird pattern issues. The armholes on this thing are like none I've ever sewn (or seen) - and I didn't notice the drop shoulders until after I had put them in. If I had, I would have changed them up.

The lining didn't work out so smoothly & I had to put the collar in 3 times to get it right - and it's still kind of bunchy in places.

When I told some friends that I got this fabric, one of them pointed out that it was pretty risky of Passenger Pigeon to sell their fabrics. What if someone made something totally crappy out of their recognizable fabric & people thought it was from their line? She was right - and this made me very aware of taking my time & doing a good job on the jacket. Despite trying to be extra attentive, there were parts that just didn't work out well at all. The pattern was a lot more complicated than it needed to be. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I consider myself a fairly seasoned seamstress & I had to fumble my way through a lot of this. It looks good, but I know it's not perfect & I'm finally at a stage in my life where that bugs the hell out of me. I do like it a lot though, despite the messy bits & I can tell I'll wear it tons.
Next up is my winter coat, which is a mostly self drafted pattern so I'll have no one but myself to blame.

oh......hello there.

2008-10-07T16:38:00.000-06:00

How should I start the blog entry that I've been writing in my head for the past 7 months?

Hi there… I've missed you guys...?

To be honest, I'm a little worried that I'm jumping the gun here by starting up the ol' blog again. Are we in the clear yet? Can we relax yet?

I just couldn’t bring myself to write about a new pair of socks or a sweater when in the background, I was dealing with some pretty highly major stuff. I had thought of using my blog to keep a journal of how I was feeling and what we were going through - but I couldn't do it. I can’t say why, exactly – I often had this feeling of not wanting to take ownership of what (I felt) was mostly Gord’s experience. I didn’t want to be the bridesmaid taking attention away from the bride. Because the thing is - although Gord & I have spent pretty much every single day together since December, I still have no idea what he experienced, and the same can be said for him & what I went through. What if I told the story all wrong?

When people would say to me “It must be so hard on you…” I would tell them it was a lot harder on Gord. But if I ever stopped to think about it, I would break down, sort of crumble under the pressure, be overcome by the weight of what was going on – and that was never any fun for Gord or myself. The truth is, it was hard for me. Real hard.

When Gord was diagnosed, I spent many restless nights, putting all my thoughts & feelings into smart, quick sentences in my head. "I'll write a 'This American Life' style radio documentary about when my boyfriend got cancer & how I was his hilarious side-kick!" I never wrote any of it down, I don't remember anything clever I thought of. And to be honest, it didn’t take long before I had no energy to be witty & clever. I pretty much went on Auto-Pilot.

I've learned that the human brain is an amazing and merciful thing. My surface memory has no recollection of how I handled it all - when I really think about it though, I can feel my heart sink the way it did when I first heard the doctor say that the mystery illness was most likely malignant. I can see myself crying on the steps leading up to our apartment after holding it all in at the hospital & on the cab ride home. I can hear myself telling my family on the phone - sobbing - not knowing what I was going to do - how I was ever going to be strong enough to get through this & be the kind of support Gord needed? But we did it - the only way you can do something like this - one day at a time, with your eye on the prize. It wasn't always pretty & there were times, I'm sure, when he doubted my ability as caretaker and I doubted my strength to be one. There were times when I just wanted to give everything the finger & find a big, deep hole, put on giant headphones & curl up for a while. I was tired for months.

The thing I had to keep reminding myself of was this: Time never stops… a day is always made up of the same number of hours which are always made up of the same amount of minutes which will always & forever be 60 seconds which will never stop. Life does go on, we will get through this, and tomorrow is & always will be another day. You can’t finish a sweater without knitting every stitch. The journey of a thousand miles begins with…yadda yadda yadda.

To say that I’ve changed a lot in the past year(!) is a humongous understatement – and what’s nice & convenient is that I enjoy & welcome most of these new personal changes. I was always a fairly selfish person - a hard thing to fess up to, but I can say now that my selfishness has been cut into a quarter of its previous size. I still come first, but in a totally different way. I am slowly reintegrating myself into my social circles, I’m smiling a lot, joking tons, and I have a heart full of love and appreciation for those that stuck by us in such difficult times. I can honestly say that I am Happy. We are Happy. Gord is in the maintenance phase of his chemotherapy (this lasts a whopping 72 weeks, but there's promise of it being a fair bit easier than the last 9 months), and I think we've come out of the tough bits as a solid, awesome(er) couple. And I also know that my boyfriend is really, really fucking strong. I’m exceedingly proud of him, and of me (insert power couple highfive here).

I’ve written and re-written this entry a number of times – and each draft is more edited than the last. I think I’ll keep this one though, and just sum everything up with this: Cancer Sucks. Srsly. But I recently read an encouraging line that I wish I had heard at the beginning of all of this: "The Strength behind you is far greater than the challenge ahead of you." We'll be oficially in the clear come December 2009. Still quite a long way off - but we can do it, I know we can.

So, if you'll have me back, buddies, I'd like to reclaim my little corner of the internet. After all, I have a lot of knitting braggery to catch up on.

he ain't heavy, he's my lover.

2008-02-22T15:07:00.003-07:00

I have to take a break from blogging. And not a Celine Dion break or a Cher break where I *say* I'm taking a break & then the next thing you know I'm playing shows in Vegas. A real one.

Blogging is something I normally like to do - but I just feel so stretched - so thinly spread. I can't do it. Right now the love of my life comes first - and although it may come as a shock, the love of my life is Gord, not knitting. (Knitting is up there though.) Things have been incredibly tough lately - and I don't think it'll get much easier any time soon.

I'll still be updating my flickr & ravelry pages, so you can keep track of me. But for now, stay warm, cuddle up close to what/who you love, keep me in your thoughts & I'll see you in a couple of months. (I'm thinking August-ish...since that's when the 'Consolidation' chemotherapy ends for gord.)

hearts,
Nicole

snow day...err...weekend.

2008-02-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

Things have been extra lazy & hazy around the apartment - we were completely without heat for a couple of days (I'll mention, just for the sake of mentioning it, that the couple of days we were heat-free were actually THE COLDEST EFFING DAYS EVER) - making being anywhere other than the bed, beneath the duvet, a heavy blanket & an electric blanket, wearing sweaters and socks and hats totally uncomfortable.

Part of me, some sick part of me, kind of liked *having* to be snuggled up in bed, but I guess that's easier said by the person who can leave during the day & go to a heated office. Poor Gord had to put up with the cold all by himself. It's fixed now, and not a moment too soon, because the day after it was fixed, we got a massive douse of bad weather.

This is what I looked like upon returning home (2 hours after I had left) from an honest to goodness try at getting to work on Friday morning. It didn't work.

Luckily, the day before, I had cashed in most of my Shopper's Drug Mart reward points for a Nintendo DS! So I spent the day playing some Animal Crossing & some Brain Age & finished up a pair of socks for Gord.

I used some Emu Superwash DK that a swappy pal sent to me, and size 3 needles.
I started these when Gord was first in the hospital - the second sock didn't get made straight away for a number of reasons, but over the past couple of months, there have been comments like "Oh, nothing feels better on my feet than handknit socks" or "Boy, these store bought socks are no good for my circulation" etcetera. I picked up on these hints & decided to whip the second one out this weekend. I can now strike these off the list of 'unfinished projects that are just nag nag nagging me all the time.'

Oh, and I really do have to say a big huge thank you to everyone who wished Gord a Happy Birthday! He seemed quite touched that so many of you took the time to send along well-wishes! And, thank you to Amy and Julia who awarded me with a 'You Make my Day Award!" It made my day! Really & truly!

G-Unit, another year of excellence.

2008-01-22T20:08:00.001-07:00

Today is Gord's Birthday!

I got the day off work (!!!) & we ended up having a fantastic day!

Woke up & put on my shirt..
(Note to iron-on letter manufacturers: please include more than one 'R' per package. Having only the one meant I had to go for old-fashioned 'Gords Gal' rather than today's hip & edgey sounding 'Gords Girl'.)

We put on our winter boots...

so cozy.

And headed up for some delicious Birthday Breakfast

Nummy.

My original plan was to go up the CN Tower, but it was really cloudy & snowy today so we axed that idea & just took a really, really long & round-about streetcar ride to the PowerPlant.

I go nutso for the TTC font.

Check out that knit Cobra! Steven Shearer at the PowerPlant.

There was also a great piece about the AIDS quilt - some panels from the quilt are there, with a documentary on how the quilt blocks are curated & stored. Pretty interesting.

We headed home & snuggled up on the couch to watch some Deadwood.

The couple that wears handknit socks together, stays together.

Lastly, we ordered up some Indian Take out

I'd say that it was definitely one of the most enjoyable days we've spent together in a long, long time - and a super way to celebrate my most favourite person ever.

(As a quick update, Gord is now in remission & going through his next stage of chemo - it's long (30 weeks) & tiring, but he's doing well - the fact that we spent his birthday outside, around town, riding the subway & streetcars is just totally amazing to me. Today, his birthday - felt *so* far away in October when he was diagnosed & this afternoon as we rode past the hospital we both remarked about how even though it was only 3 months ago that our whole lives changed, it feels like a whole lifetime ago. The time just keeps going by. We've been so lucky in all of this - thank you for thinking of us.)

CheckMark!

2008-01-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

A new sweater!

Cabled yoke sweater named 'Carmella's Cardigan' from an up-coming Patons 'Up-side Downers' book.

I knit this for work, but I get to keep it. A pretty sweet deal, I think. This is made with Patons Shetland Chunky 'Rich Teal.' I really like this yarn. It's mainly acrylic, with a little bit of wool, but it's soft & machine washable. The only downside? This particular colour turned my bamboo needles blue-ish.

The fit is good, but I couldn't get any good pictures of me in it. Also, I tend to finish sweaters on Sundays - the day I hardly ever make it into the shower. My Judy is much nicer to look at.

There was one fit issue, but it was my fault.

I was picking up stitches along the top for the collar - when I got to the right side, I started to panic because I hadn't picked up enough & I was running out of space - so I over compensated on that one side. Such a dumb mistake since I could have just picked up less but what can you do?

I ran a piece of yarn through some sticthes on that side of the collar, and pulled it until it was flat like the other side.

Nice.

I'm thinking I just need to buy bigger buttons & this is good to go.

Now onto my cabled yoke

cue-hoot.

2008-01-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

Tiny owl, made for my friend Tim's birthday, with help from moonstitches.
My mind is already aflutter with more ideas for this little guy.

when bad dye lots happen to good people.

2008-01-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

Last week I decided I'd start knitting socks chronologically -- starting with the oldest sock yarn in my stash. Considering I only started knitting socks about 2 years ago, it's not terribly old stuff & I still like most of it. First up was some DGB self striping I bought on clearance at Romni about a year & a half ago. The colours are cute & I used DGB for the very first pair of socks I ever knit & they are still awesome & hole-free.

Everything was cool until I got to a couple of yucky bits in the peach stripe. It just got worse, but I was on the bus on my way home & it was all I had to keep me sane. (If you've ever ridden the Dufferin bus in Toronto, you'll understand what I mean.) So I kept going & the yuckiness just kept getting worse.

The stripe closest to the needles is supposed to be the same mauve-y colour as the ones that come before it. What it is though, is a drabby substitute. I can see that things get back to normal with the colours a couple of yards ahead - I will rip back & fix it. woe.

In knitting victory, super cute baby chucks!

I used this pattern, I knit these with Patons kroy sock yarn in black & white, and used size 2 needles. The pattern calls for worsted weight, but the recipient has particularly tiny feets.

i heart me, apparently.

2008-01-10T18:50:00.001-07:00

Merry Christmas to me....from me.

New books!

I'mma totally going to knit these snail mittens from The Knitter's Book of Yarn! And holy moses, Knit Knit is the nicest eye candy I've indulged in in a long, long time.

Mondial Gold Cashmere from Little Knits. . I'm thinking for the Katherine Hepburn cardigan from Lace Style.

Lace Wing sock yarn from Little Knits. The colours of this yarn are so rich & deep. And I have to say, ordering from little knits was a pleasure!

Habu cashmere. Oh what to do, what to do with 182 yards of lace weight cashmere? Mostly, I couldn't resist the attractive packaging. I bought this at Lettuce Knit along with..

Dream in Color 'Smooshy' sock yarn. This is a sublime mix of greens - and totally smooshy!

A Dream in Colour baby cardigan kit! I couldn't resist the cuteness of everyone else's sweaters! I didn't even notice the 40$ price tag! Yoinch! But it's cute, so who really cares?

Elann Peruvian Highland wool - for a project I have in my brain & would like to put on my body. I may need a darker brown. Good thing I got this...

shade cards!

Also newly acquired:

I discovered one of the perks of my job...when a co-worker de-stashes.

A *gigantic* cone of rusty coloured tweed. It feels slightly felted, which I *love*. I just have no idea of what kind of yargade I'm dealing with here. I'd like to make something similar to the Drops jacket, but I'd hate to run short of yarn.

10 skeins of a now discontinued Patons wool. 'Ballybrae' is a gorgeous tweed that smells super lanolin-y! I can't wait to find the perfect project for this.

Whew! So that should be enough to keep me going for a while. I still have a bunch of lingering projects that need finishing up. The Tangled Yoke cardigan is taking for.ev.er. I have some socks on the needles, and 2 cardigans that need sleeves. I pinkie swear I will not start another sweater until those sleeves are finished. pinkie. swear.

I Heart Gansey.

2008-01-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

2008. Yeow.

I've decided to make a couple of changes to how I operate this year. My first goal is to get rid of all. my. clutter. Last weekend Gord & I did a number on the kitchen & it feels so much better. Lighter. EASIER. When I reach for a mixing bowl now, I don't have to play Jenga with whatever is in front of the bowls...because there is nothing in front of the bowls. Everything has its place, and whatever there wasn't a place for has been packed up to be donated to the Goodwill.

I started to do the same cleansing process in my sewing room & then it struck me. I need to finish the projects I've already started. First up, my I Heart Gansey sock.

Pattern: I Heart Gansey socks from the six socks knitalong Yahoo Group
Yarn: Fleece Artist Merino.....2/6, maybe? Not sure of the colourway either.

I started these socks in August. I'm not sure why the second sock sat in sock purgatory for so long, considering I fully & completely fell in love with the first one.

Our Sea Shanty floors don't do anything to show off the amazingness of this yarn.

These socks are lovely.

I was hoping that the good luck of this, my first finished project of 2008 would carry on to my next project.
It didn't.

This is a baby Converse bootie. There is only one because this is *HUGE*. Considering these are meant for a tiny tiny baby, there will have to be a second attempt using smaller yarn & needles. So cute though...SO CUTE.

Next UFO to finish up is my semi-secret purple cabley thing, a sleeve of a cardigan, and my Tangled Yoke cardigan. And *then* I can get down to the good stuffs.

Oh, and as an added bonus...

I made these socks for my friend Donald a while ago but gave them to him before I got to take a photo. He was wearing the on new Years Eve, so I snapped a shot of them.

Not a very good one, but you get the idea. I used no pattern for these - just a simple sock with cables running down each side and contrasting toe & heel. I used Lana Grossa Meilenweit Cotton for these - a lovely sproingy cotton sock yarn, perfect for those poor, poor people who are allergic to wool.

Happy Quitiversary!

2008-01-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hoorah!

Your Quit Date is: Tuesday, January 02, 2007 at 8:43:00 AM
Time Smoke-Free: 365 days, 10 hours, 8 minutes and 25 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 5481
Lifetime Saved: 1 month, 11 days, 20 hours
Money Saved: $2055.37

One year ago yesterday, I smoked my last cigarette.

According to quitnet.com I have saved over TWO THOUSAND dollars (where did I ever get the money to afford such an expensive habit??) , not smoked FIVE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY ONE cigarettes (when did I have the time to smoke that much?) and added an extra month to my life. Sure I've also added the inevitable quitting inches to my waist, but that will be this year's goal to tackle.

I feel good, my skin looks great, I don't cough up disgusting shit every morning, I have no reason to stand outside in the freezing cold or the rain. I don't smell. I am a non-smoker. I was born... born to be alive.

And I don't miss it. Not even one single teeny tiny bit.

crimmus.

2007-12-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

Christmas. It's over.

For the first time in a long time, I just sort of sat back & let Christmas happen - and it was awesome.

There were Christmas Miracles...
Gord's niece Sophie was finally moved to a hospital closer to his sister, and we got to visit. She's the sweetest little girl. I got a little choked up when Gord held her, they've managed to get past some pretty scary health issues - but they are both recovering so well. Hopefully Sophie will get to go home to her anxious parents soon.

We spent Christmas Eve at my sister's house - filled with good cheer, bad singing, and lots of wine
My family is quite large, and for as long as I can remember, we've gathered on Christmas Eve to sing carols & get excited for Santi Claus. My aunts say that we do it "you know, for the Kids!" But this year I noticed there was not one single child in the room as we barked and screetched our way through timeless classics.

Gord & my dad, doing it for the kids.
My sister & I re-created a christmas photo from when we were small.

And then I think I remember playing Guitar Hero very, very badly & passing out on the fold-out couch. My new year's resolution is to NOT drink so much wine next Christmas Eve.

Christmas knitting was small & cute.

Socks for my mother.
Pomatomus from knitty.
Meilenweit Cotton Maya (can't remember the colourway?)

I'm deeply in love with these socks. The yarn shows off the pattern beautifully & they are SO soft & sproingy.

Mittens for my sister
Bird in Hand
Patons Classic merino in black & grey & a bit of bright pink

I love these. They have so many cute little details, like the braiding around the cuff & the little birds on the thumbs (I made a mistake in the left mitt & the bird ended up on the top of the thumb.) and the flowers on the palms. It was hard for me to give these up, which means they are a good gift. I'll be making some for me soon.

I also made a pair of socks for my dad, but forgot to take a photo. boo.

So now I'm back to regular scheduled knitting. I spent some time ordering yarn online the other day, in preparation for some projects I'd like to start soon, but mostly I've been spending lots of time in my jammies, watching DVDs, eating bonbons & getting to know my new friend Quatchi.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas....say what??

2007-12-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

By this time last year, most of my christmas crafting excel spreadsheet was filled in red (the colour I used to indicate a project was finished) or pink (the colour I used to indicate a projects' imminent finishing). I made *ALL* of my gifts last year - 9 pairs of socks, 3 adult sweaters, a full size quilt, 2 hats, 6 aprons, and I forgetwhatelse..... It was intense.

This year, despite having taken the Handmade pledge, I find myself sitting in a tiny pile of half- finished projects. A sock....a mitten....one half of a bag. I'm in the christmas spirit, I can feel christmas, I am excited for it - but the shopping, the crafting, even the thinking of a good gift - tires me out. I've ordered a bunch of stuff from etsy & even snuck in a couple of gifts that aren't handmade (shh!) but still, my arms are basically bereft of gifts to give. My spirit, she runs high, but I'm operating on like, 20% energy. Anyone I've confessed this to immediately jumps to my defense: "No one expects you to have gifts! Not after what you've been through." Sure, the past couple of months have been busy & tiring & draining & actually, I don't even really remember the month that Gord was in hospitals & being tested & diagnosed. But for some reason I just cannot let myself off the hook for having little to give.

Mostly I am looking forward to a whole week off where I will try to do stuff for *me*. I plan on making dresses, knitting myself some socks, finishing up some sweater projects & organizing my sewing room. I want to *finish a book* & take an afternoon nap. I want to play my parent's Wii. And drink wine. Lots of it.

I did manage to finally get a haircut. The Thermal photos were the slap in the face that I needed. My hair! It was getting huge & unruly & so gross! Now. Short. and sassy.

Secret Snowflake bonanza!

2007-12-12T18:18:00.000-07:00

Well how about that? Here I am with another post!

Tonight, upon our return from the hospital (Gord's in radiation therapy now. Today was his first day & it went alright, I think.) I nearly tripped over the Large. Box. that was in our front hallway.

My Secret Snowflake had arrived!!

I signed up late for this swatch & was overjoyed when I found it I could still take part. This year, my partner Jennifer *really* outdid herself!

She definitely focused in on one of my all time favourite things.....*GORD!* included in the package was a pendant with Gord's picture on it, a quilted wall hanging with Gord's photo in the middle, and a softie photoframe with a picture of Gord on either side. Amazing! But that's not all! A super incredible 'Fuck Cancer" pillow! It's Gord approved! There was also a great hairband, a mini lunchbox keychain, pens with mini teeny tiny boogle, Yahtzee & pop-o-matic trouble on the ends !! These things are *AWESOME*, a book of krazy knitting photo postcards, a healing art doll & the mooooost beautiful bag *ever!* Perfect for my knitting!

I was really so touched by everything she sent - it was amazing fun to open everything & read her little notes. And the treasures inside were made with love, I can tell.THANK YOU!

So, the first completed christmas gift came off the needles the other day,

A hat for Gord's grandma.

Kind of sort of a Rangoli hat.

I rescued some Patons Decor from work to make this. I had no idea how much yarn I had, it was leftover from another project, so panic set in when I started to run out of yarn & still had a whole lot more to go. I began decreasing way, way earlier than the pattern calls for so it's not as slouchy as some I've seen. I also omitted the bobbles. I quite like it & Gord thinks his grandma will too.

Here I am trying to look like a grandma.

So now onto more christmas knitting. It won't be the craziness it was last year, I'm keeping it small & thoughtful this year. To be honest, I'm just *too* *tired* to put any sort of pressure on myself. I'll just have to design a lovely I.O.U. tag.

Yesterday I spotted this tote in the new Interweave & it struck me as something my mother would like. Before I knew it I was shuffling in my stash to find suitable yarn. I found some Patons Classic merino in 'Natural mix' that will work & so far, so good. I just hope I can get er done for christmas.

I've also cast on for these absolutely amazing mittens. I am totally in love with them & I've only done the cuff. They are perfect! I already plan on making a second pair for myself.

Speaking of myself:

A secret project. For *me.*

update.

2007-12-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

Gord has been doing awesomely. He was released a whole week & a half earlier than they had originally anticipated. The first week home was a lesson in what his limitations were, but he got a lot of good rest. It's so nice to take the streetcar *home* after work each night. I started my new job the day after Gord first went into the hospital - I'd go to the hospital straight from work & then home. Now I know what it's like to cut out that pesky middle part & just get straight to the good stuff.

He had an appointment with his doctor on Wednesday - they did another bone marrow biopsy & the good news is that Gord is in remission (yay!) the not-so-good-news is that he's still not done treatments. Next week he'll begin phase two of his protocol. Radiation therapy. Lets hope that he does as well with this as he did with chemo. It seems somewhat unreal that he's already in remission, but I guess the Leukemia was detected early enough that it was a little easier to blast it out of his body.

It's been great having him back. I love coming home from work to Gord's awesome dinners & a delicious smelling apartment. I love sitting next to him on the couch & while I may not love the steroided out snoring, I certainly missed falling asleep beside him. The apartment feels like home again. Today we have to put up our christmas tree & make this place holly & jolly.

It's hard to believe that Christmas is coming so soon. By this time last year I had practically all of my christmas crafting under control. This year I barely have any gifts - I'm worried that a lot of people will be getting I.O.U's from me. Last week I went to City of Craft in an effort to cross some stuff of my shopping list.

This show was on the same day that I had made plans to go to a church bazzar, buy winter boots & be home by noon to visit with Gord's family. I had to go to City of Craft early & good thing I did, too, because I got this awesome tote!

Inside the tote was a whole bunch of really great free stuff:
Awesome!
I bought some very nice handspun yarn, and something for Gord. The place was jam packed & the vendors were top notch, I hope this becomes an annual event.

There's been some crafting going on, but most of it is for work. My job requires many swatches to be made & there's a lot of "OMG! We need a pair of socks knit in 3 days!" kind of knitting. I like it though - I like knowing that if I really need to, I can get a project done lightning fast. But I have been trying to get knitting time on my own projects in as much as possible.

Which leaves me with a fantastic segue to talk about *Thermal.*

*DONE*. I weaved in all the ends, put some buttons on it & I declare it officially & totally complete.

I cast on the first weekend in June, at my friend Peter's cottage. I had several false starts - I twisted the stitches a couple of times without noticing. About an inch into the 1x1 ribbing I started to seriously doubt my decision to make a Nicole-sized sweater in fingering weight yarn. But now, snuggled up on my couch typing this & wearing the finished piece, I'm glad I soldiered on. It's gorgeous.

I used 18 balls of elann Baby Cashmere in 'pewter', on size 2 needles.
The pattern is great, I had no problems with this other than my own tortoise-y approach to getting it done. When I snipped the thread after sewing the buttons on, I felt as though a million pounds had been turned into billowy soft cashmere clouds.

I could say that my puffy eyes in all these photos are from knitting this sweater for the past 6 months, but really I think I still need major naps to catch up on the last month of no sleep.

So what now? I still have my Tangled Yoke Cardigan on the go, I have a few Christmas gifts on the needles & a simple everyday cardigan to replace the one I currently wear.... everyday. I am about to cast on for a *gorgeous* cabled thing. There is certainly no lack of things to take Thermals place in my "to do" basket.

Hmm, that post wasn't so long after all.

2007-11-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

He's coming home. Today.

More when he's actually here & it's not a dream, it's a confirmed *real* thing.

Mount Thermal.

2007-11-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

It was a long battle - beginning in June & ending, finally, last night. I finished Thermal. I blocked it, I am wearing it right. now. And...

my camera batteries died - so you'll have to sit tight for some photos.

I've been knitting like crazy - I have lots of time to knit because I spend my waking hours either at work (knitting, talking about knitting, reading knitting patterns, etc..) or at the hospital - knitting. Gord is Neutropenic, so we can't touch at all. No hugs, no highfives, no nose nuzzles. So I keep my hands busy by knitting. More updates as projects actually get finished.

Today I got myself out to have brunch with some friends (much needed, even if I was iffy about fitting it into my schedule) & then I went to the hospital. The Santa Claus Parade was today & the route goes right past Princess Margaret where Gord is. Hospital for Sick Kids is across the street - so they bundle up the kids who can go outside and the others get to wave to Santa from the window. I watched the parade from Gord's window - my head pressed against the glass. Half watching the parade, half watching the patients from surrounding hospitals looking down from their windows. I gave Gord a play-by-play "And now Mr. Peanut is dancing in the middle of the street...and now Clifford the Big Red Dog is going by,YUCK! Shriners! and look! The Burlington teen Tour Band!" Then finally, the crowd went absolutely mental, police escorts, tons of booming noise & the great man himself on his sled - wishing everyone the merriest of christmases & HOHOHOing. And a 31 year old woman clapping & waving from 14 floors up. Can Santa bring my boy home to me for Christmas? I hope so.

Tuesday will be the official half-way point of this initial round of chemo & I absolutely could not be more proud of Gord. He's been through so much & he's handling it all with such grace & composure. His doctor told him last week that he was very pleased with Gord's reaction to the treatment. The other night he mentioned that he has it in the back of his mind that he might have to stay for longer than they had initially said, but for now....

This is it. This is it.
This is life, the one you get
So go and have a ball.

This is it. This is it
Straight ahead and rest assured
You can’t be sure at all.

So while you’re here enjoy the view
Keep on doing what you do
So hold on tight we'll muddle through
One day at a time, One day at a time.

So up on your feet. Up on your feet
Somewhere there’s music playing.
Don’t you worry none
We’ll just take it like it comes.

One day at a time, one day at a time.
One day at a time, one day at a time.
One day at a time, one day at a time.
One day at a time, one day at a time.

Do you guys know how long I've had that song in my head for? And how I ache every time I write a blog entry to include the lyrics somehow? FINALLY I got it out of my system. Stay tuned for Wilson Phillips' 'Hold On' to make its way into a future entry.

Day 8.

2007-11-14T12:28:00.000-07:00

Gord's numbers are going low low & lower. He's now neutropenic which means he's super highly susceptible to infection & sickness. I wash my hands about 15 times a day (I'm not even joking.) Seriously - my kingdom for an intensive hand moisturizer. But I don't mind. Not *really*.

He's currently on Day 8 of his 28 days of chemo. So far, I'd say things are going pretty well. He's up & walking quite a bit, his appetite is HUGE (despite the limited & very crappy food he's allowed) and the side effects are pretty manageable. He's been sick to his stomach a couple of times & has become very light-sensitive, but on the whole, I'd say he's doing pretty good. At least his headaches are starting to go away. He's been meeting & talking to some people on his floor, which helps a lot. Everyone has a lot of good insight & there's some pretty inspirational people there.

And speaking of inspiration, did you know it comes in pint-sized babies? It does. Gord's tiny, tiny preemie niece Sophie has been such a ray of sunshine in all of this, and you can read all about her progress on the blog her parents have started! WARNING: Kleenex is a good idea.
Who would ever think that she would have so much in common with her Uncle Gord!

Thanks everyone, for your comments & your e-mails & phone calls. I may not get a chance to get back to you straight-away, but I really, really appreciate the kindness & thoughtfulness that has been showered upon both Gord & I. *Thank You.*

Day 2.

2007-11-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

Gord started chemo on Tuesday - and technically, they call that day zero.

We have a list of all the days (28 of them) & what drugs he'll be getting on which days - with two sneaky "L.P"s listed in there (Lumbar Punctures). The chart looks so. long. He was feeling no side effects up until today - which was filled with dizzy spells, leg pain, extreme headache - I wrote down all the names of the drugs so I can research them & try to be a little bit prepared for what they might do to him.

My schedule is so topsy turvey. I get up, shower, go to work, go to the hospital, come home, make a few phone calls & go to sleep so I can do the same thing the next day. Things like grocery shopping or laundry are falling by the way-side - which is why it's so amazing to have such awesome friends. Three times now I've come home to care packages left by various thoughtful friends - food, (tonight I came home to lovely vegetarian chili made by Mary, and the other night was some deli counter favourites left by Andrea & Dave) wine, chocolate, care packages for Gord (Thanks Emily, Dave, Avril & Frank!) and even some extremely thoughtful snail mail (Thanks Geoffrey!) And last night many, many DVDs were dropped off to keep Gord occupied while he's in the hospital. It all goes so far in reminding me that although this has been a very hard & lonely 2 weeks - mostly spent at the hospital, Gord & I are not alone in this. Nowhere near to it.

I've been self medicating quite a bit - mostly with online retail therapy. Yesterday I bought a Martha's Vineyard Fiber Farm CSA share! I'm incredibly excited about this! I think it's an absolutely fantastic idea - and I think you should buy a share too.

That's going to be my wool one day!

the new normal.

2007-11-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

Gord starts his chemo tomorrow. For the past week I've just been staring at him - his arms, his legs, his face. trying to see it. How can he be sick? He's still so strong.

I've learned so much this past week - about Gord, about myself, and especially about us together, as a unit - as a team. I'm also learning other things, like how to properly wash my hands, what food Gord can & can't have, what Leukemia does to a person's blood, and what chemotherapy does to a person's body.

It's heavy - and I'm surprised by how easily I've slipped into the role of information retainer/relayer, as caretaker, as prescription filler, as The Strong One, or, as I said to some friends in an e-mail the Lovely Elizabeth to Gord's Macho Man Randy Savage.

I've been knitting a lot. mostly stuff for work (gasp! *swoon!*) but last week I finally got to the sleeve decreases on the second Thermal sleeve. That sweater is going down this weekend.

Words can't express how thankful I am to all the people who have reached out to Gord & I. It means so much to us to have such an amazing back up crew - I really believe it will help Gord to recover quickly & fully. Thank You.

What it is.

2007-10-31T17:37:00.000-06:00

Gord's been diagnosed with ALL - Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It came as a total shock - but I guess you're never prepared to get cancer. We went to the er 2 Sundays ago for severe back pain - and that's when they spotted it - the drop in Platelets & Red Blood cells.

He's home for a couple of days & then he'll be admitted into Princess Margaret Hospital for about a month. He's ready for the fight & I'm ready to stand by my man every single step of the way. I've never loved anyone the way I love him - we don't really have a choice except to beat the shit out of this.

So yeah...that's what's been going on over here.
I'll probably write about it quite a bit. So far we've both been absolutely amazed by the outpouring of support from friends and family - I suspect this support will go a long way to give Gord the strength he needs to get through this.

real life.

2007-10-27T10:26:00.000-06:00

Thanks to those of you who have expressed concern & have wished me well.

I guess I'll just come right out & say it since I'm going to have to learn how I'm going to deal with - Gord went into the hospital last Sunday & will probably be there until early next week. They are running some more tests so that they can tell us for sure what is going on. It has been a pretty surreal week for the both of us, and for our friends & family, but my mind is put to ease by how Gord is handling it. He's vowed to 'fight the shit' out of this & I've promised to be there every single step of the way - so I figure whatever this is, it doesn't really have much of a choice except to get the hell out & stay out.

I'll probably be using this blog as a way to get what I'm feeling out - these are all new emotions for me, and I think I'll have a lot of knitting time ahead. Not to mention that I did go to the drop spindle workshop & I am hopeful, despite my first, sad looking attempts.

So there you have it. I'll try to update as often as possible, until then, just keep us in your thoughts.

xo,
nicole

gimmie a break.

2007-10-22T18:16:00.001-06:00

Thank you, istockphoto for providing *just* the right visual image...

Real Life has suddenly become a little more complicated than normal. This blog will resume regular activity once the stars realign & I can think clearly.

MSPaint Monday

2007-10-15T13:51:00.000-06:00

It is my very last week at this job. I drew this a while ago & think it's appropriate to how I'm feeling right now.

(oh, and p.s. - my fall down the stairs hasn't hindered my knitting!)

wickede

2007-10-13T18:57:00.000-06:00

So last night I finally read some of the thousands of e-mails being sent to me on a daily basis from the sockwars yahoo group seeing as the war was to begin today. Turns out, I've accidentally gone AWOL. There have been so many e-mails from the group & I've just been deleting them - which means I deleted the one about having to submit your mailing address. I am not on the final list.

To console myself, I went out & bought a drop spindle & some roving, hoping I could teach myself how to spin if I wasn't going to be knitting socks.

I didn't pay attention to the label of the roving & bought some Merino - I'm under the impression that a coarser wool would be easier to begin with, am I right?

It says 'wickede' on the label!

I tried spinning for about 3 seconds last night & when I didn't catch on immediately, I threw it down & went to sleep. I think I might sign up for a drop spindle workshop at knit cafe, or do some more reading online.

Hey - here's some simple math for you:

these: (scary steep slippery narrow wooden stairs)

plus these: (very cute but very slippery crocheted Noro slippers)

equals one heck of a fall & a body that's achy all over. My left wrist is wickede painful right now --I'm going to go find out if I can knit.

TGIF.

2007-10-12T09:07:00.000-06:00

Why is it that 4 day work weeks tend to drag on & on & on?

At least my beloved Friday is here & I can finally start looking forward to what my weekend has in store. Saturday is a work day, unfortunately, so that means a lot of standing. But after that, it's all about Thanksgiving 2.0 & getting my apartment in order. For two people who yearn for a simple lifestyle, we sure have a lot of stuff.

And speaking of stuff, I've been shelling out a whooooole lotta dough on etsy.com & have decided it's no fair to keep all my great finds to myself.

Today I am sporting this necklace I bought from Jewelry by Tara a couple of weeks ago. It translates as "I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow" I've also bought a couple of christmas presents on etsy, but everyone will just have to sit tight until after they are received.

I knit the tiniest hat ever last week:

This little hat is for Sophie, Gord's tiny new niece. She was born very prematurely last week. Of course when I found out she had been born, I went out on my lunch break & bought some needles & some Debbie Bliss 'Rialto'. When in doubt, KNIT. She's got a whole troupe of people routing for her, but judging by how fiesty she was in her incubator when we visited on Monday, I think she's going to be a little fighter.

Weapons of Mass Knitstraction.

2007-10-09T17:49:00.000-06:00

Thanks for all the congrats! I can't wait for the job to actually begin!

In the meantime, I've got Sock Wars to keep me busy. My chosen weapon: this DK Superwash Merino from elann.com. It's so soft! And the colour is really nice, I think it'll work well. I just hope I can knit them in record time.

I mentioned the Hemlock Ring blanket in my last post - but howsabout a nice picture:

I'm out into the feather & fan section & it's a pretty fun knit. I'm using some Elann Super Cable Aran. I'm going to knit 2 of these for christmas gifts, but I might have to add one for me since I like it so much.

Happy Tanksgivin'!

2007-10-07T09:00:00.000-06:00

Gord says Canada has Pioneers, not Pilgrims, and apparently Pioneers didn't have golden buckles, but whatever. Golden Buckles are hilarious!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! (Well, everyone who lives in Canada....)

pinch me!

2007-10-04T13:16:00.000-06:00

Exciting news! After a year and a half of working at a job that never really fit me, I had an awesome interview on Tuesday morning & a job offer Tuesday afternoon. I now work for a yarn company.

I know, right?

I'm officially closing the book on the book industry!(harhar!) I won't go into too much detail of my new job because A) I haven't actually started yet and B) I'd like to keep my blog separate from my 'real-life'. But know this - I am CRAZYEXCITED! GAah!

I've been such a bad blogger - I've received so much great stuff in the mail over the past 2 weeks & haven't blogged about any of it! I also have little-to-no progress to show you on my current projects. My second thermal sleeve is almost to my elbow, the body of the Tangled Yoke Cardigan is about 8" long, my second 'I heart Gansey' sock is almost to the heel flap, I finished the first sock of a pair for my father's christmas present & I cast on for the beeeeeee-oooo-tiful Hemlock Ring blanket (also for christmas presents). And not a picture to show.

This weekend marks the first (hopefully) annual Winer Thanksgiving Wasaga Weekend - most of my aunts & uncles & cousins have all rented cottages at a resort & we'll be celebrating Thanksgiving up there. I am so excited to be spending this time with my family, and even more excited to just get away from the city for a little bit. I've been working so much lately - this will be a welcomed break from it all.

And *hopefully* I'll come home with a finished Thermal sleeve!

MSPaint Monday

2007-10-01T09:51:00.000-06:00

For Pam & Wilma, inspired by this photo

Le Slouch, C'est Chic.....

2007-09-27T06:49:00.001-06:00

I have been one busy little such & such.

Knitting has been slow. I'm about 1/4 done the second sleeve on Thermal & I'm very slowly chugging away on the body of my Tangled Yoke Cardigan (which, OMG, felted tweed ....I think it's my favourite yarn I've ever worked with)

With all this slow chugging going on I needed something I could shotgun....something instantly satisfying & intoxicating & above all, cute.

Le Slouch!

I was skeptical of how a floppy tam type hat would look on me but after I slipped it on my head everthing was Irie. I didn't have size 9 dpns so I knit this on size 8 & added some extra stitches which worked out just fine. I used some Misti Alpaca from my stash & if I could afford it, I'd knit myself a whole body jumpsuit from this stuff because it is soft as a puppy's ear. This took me 2 evenings of extremely leisurely knitting, including a long break on Saturday night to bid my good friend Michael Adieu.

This photo was taken on New Year's Eve, 2006 - "No tears on New Years!" This was when Michael made me cry because he said I was too talented to work in a bookstore. Amen, brother! (This is also when I was in my 'Caramel Kiss' hair colour phase - a phase which still haunts me, I mean seriously - I want my dark brown hair back.) Too bad I'll be making clothes for plus sized girls & not handsome svelte men, or else this guy would be my muse. Knock 'em dead in Jolly ole England my friend, show those blokes how to wear a neckerchief!

MSPaint Monday

2007-09-24T13:55:00.000-06:00

If you know me IRL, then you know that if there's one thing I like about windows (the ONLY thing I like) it's MSPaint. I've decided that I'll start a regular feature on my blog where I share my MSPaint masterpieces.

Today's art:
"Barkey's Tavern"

whoah.

2007-09-16T11:07:00.000-06:00

Should cut off my other arm, or actually go through with knitting another sleeve?

It just kept going.....and going...and going. I've cast on for the second sleeve - I have about 2 rows of the ribbing done. I'm aiming for a completion date of Nov. 1st.

Also makes a cozy legwarmer.

Oh, and how lame of me to not link to the pattern source of the knitting bag I sewed up 2 posts back! tsk. tsk.
The lovely tutorial can be found HERE.

Annegurumi

2007-09-12T11:04:00.001-06:00

A while ago I joined up with some other crafty kids to take part in a book-club-craft-along. The idea was that we'd chose a book to read & everyone would have to make a craft inspired by the book. We picked Anne of Green Gables! I hadn't read that book since I was a kid so I was eager to re-read it & what a perfect choice too, since there's a ton of crafting all up in that book! They're all knitting or sewing or making pies & stuff.

I made a little Anne doll! Amigurumi style...or, "ANNEgurumi" if you will.

I have only a little experience crocheting dolls, and I made this up as I went along so there are a couple of wonky bits (like, if you were to take off Anne's Wincy dress you'd see that her body is extremely gourd-esque)

I'd say her hair was the most challenging bit - but I'm glad that my technique used up so much of this bright orange acrylic yarn that's been tainting my stash for far too long now. I tried to make little french knot freckles but they just didn't look right - and I also tried to find a little straw hat but I guess they aren't as easy to come by as I had thought they'd be.

I think she's pretty adorable, I'm tempted to make a drunk Diana & a Marilla & Matthew.... but for now, Anne is all I need. And maybe a dress with puffed sleeves.

who loves the sun?

2007-09-09T15:56:00.000-06:00

Holy Moley! Drops Jacket mania is sweeping the internet! AWESOME!

The more I think about it, the more I realize that a jacket like this is actually... totally perfect. I can't wait to see other people's jackets! And thanks so much for all the great comments!

Last week I took back the unused balls of wool I had from my Road to Golden so I could get store credit to buy some Rowan Felted Tweed for the 'Tangled Yoke" cardigan from the Fall Interweave Knits. I had the last bit of some gift certificates to use as well -- otherwise there's no way I could have afforded to buy the 10 required balls of this.

I was deciding between this blue/green or a brown and in the end made the decision that I wanted this sweater to be AAAP* so blue/green it is. I cast on Thursday night & have just finished the ribbing. Knitting with this yarn is an absolute dream and I've decided to take my time with this sweater.

The book in that photo was just given to me last night by my favourite book fairy. It's filled with *awesome* socks & lots of really useful information about sock techniques. It also has this...

Instructions on how to do a stitch pattern called 'when doves cry'. WHOAH!

Okay so...on a scale of 1 to 10, how much does it suck to untangle your sock project from your keys, headphones, pens etc when you're carrying it around in your bag? A lot right? I finally got around to making a little bag thing to carry my knitting around in...

It's totally floppy & loppy, but it was made quickly & out of desperation so it's all good. I bought that fabric from Ikea a couple of years ago & made curtains out of it but had some left over.

And inside?

My 'I heart Gansey' socks! This is a great pattern from the six sock knitalong group - you have to sign up with the yahoo group to get the pattern but there's a lot of cute patterns so it's worth the effort. The yarn I'm using is some Fleece Artist Merino that I've had a couple of false starts with but I think I've finally found just the right pattern for it.

And in Thermal news.......sleeve number one is a mere inch from being done. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

*As Awesome As Possible

Sha-Wing!

2007-09-03T08:38:00.001-06:00

Move over, Thermal! There's a new gal in town......

It's the little jacket from Drops design! This jacket needs a better name that simply '103-1'. The pattern has been translated so there were a couple of times when I had to really think about what it said, but overall this was an easy breezy knit which is destined to become a wardrobe staple.

This project was SO FAST and SO AWESOME! It clocks in at about 4 days - The yarn arrived on Wednesday & by Sunday I was seaming it all up.

I am SO INTO this thing - I want to take this jacket out for dinner & dancing & then back to an expensive hotel room for snuggling.

I used about 10 balls of Laines du Nord 'Softlight'. I don't have tons of experience with working in chunky wool, but this stuff is *super*! There's a bit of Nylon in it which makes it pretty strong - I seamed the whole thing with it and it didn't break once. And also, it is so.effing.soft.

I knit the largest size, which turned out great - it's slightly fitted at the top & then flares out with a bit of sass at the hem.

I took a million pictures of me wearing it - look! This is what it looks like when I smile wearing the jacket!

And that's me thinking "damn, this sweater is rad!"

And here's me being all "Why can't you be more like this sweater? I knit this in *FOUR DAYS* Awww, I can't stay mad at you baby..."

Golden.

2007-08-26T16:18:00.001-06:00

LALALALALAAAAAAAAA!

My Road to Golden sweater is done! And I've got a big huge crush on it!

MMMMMMMMmmmmmmm! I can't even wait for the weather to get a bit cooler so I can wear this thing 24-7.

(Okay, so last night it was my awesome friend's awesome birthday party & she celebrated with a keg & I'm feeling pretty rough today which is why these pictures of me look so.....scowly/weird)

I changed the colour a tiny bit. I took out the red & used some dark purple instead. I'm really happy with how these colours look together.

I used mostly ella rae classic wool, the yellow bits are paton classic merino & the light purple is Galway. I have about 3 unused balls of yarn which is good because I can take them back & get yarn for my next project.

this was a super fun knit, however there is an error in the pattern as it is written when it comes to the final neck stitch count. Apparently this will be posted on the Knitscene website. (The wonder that is Ravelry allowed me to check up on this pattern & that's how I know. Thanks Ravelry!)

Now back to those Thermal sleeves...

Sea Storm.

2007-08-23T07:50:00.000-06:00

A bunch of things have been going on that have made me not want to/unable to blog, but I'm here with a smidge of an update.

I'm still knitting the Thermal sleeve. Or, rather, I am still knitting the first Thermal sleeve. And it is still only at the elbow. It doesn't seem to get any longer no matter how much I knit it. I've switched from the dpns to magic loop in hopes that it'll go a little bit faster.

With my dpns freed up, I was able to bring along Gord's second Fleece Artist sock when we went away last weekend to visit some folks. I started while we were waiting for the train on Saturday afternoon and was decreasing for the toe on the bus ride home the next day. One thing is for sure, making an adult sized sweater on size 2 needles with fingering weight yarn certainly has sped up my fingers.

This isn't the best picture, but it's what I got to show. It was damp & humid yesterday & Gord wasn't really super eager to slap on a pair of merino socks. He says he loves them though, so that's enough for me. I think the colourway is 'Sea Storm'. The pattern is pretty simple, I cast on 68 stitches, made about an inch & a half of 1x1 twisted rib, tossed in some simple cables on the side, did an eye of the partridge heel & then slid into homebase with some every other row toe decreases.

And what's that? In the background there?

It's my 'Road to Golden'! In all honesty, my Thermal would probably be going much quicker if I just put down all the other sweater projects I got going on. But Road to Golden is just so.... pretty. I'm done the body, I just need one more sleeve so that I can join for the yoke. I haven't made many alterations to the pattern except for some colour changes and I added a whole chart repeat before I began the gusset increases since it was looking a little short when I put it on. I'm using mostly Ella Rae Classic for this, with some Brown Sheep worsted, some Galway & some Patons Classic Merino. The whole thing is soft & sproingy & I think I'll end up wearing this sweater into the ground.

So that's that. I still got my Demi sweater on the needles, and I've got my yarn all ready to go for my Katherine Hepburn cardigan waiting patiently for me. And last night I accidentally ordered some stuff to make this:

Most of the new patterns from Drops Design are crazy great this season! I couldn't stop thinking about this little jacket so I bit the bullet & I'm going to knit it. It's knit in bulky weight yarn, so I think it should be a pretty quick knit. Which is good - because I also just got the new Interweave & wouldn't you know it? There's about 4 things I'd like to knit ASAP.

Scoop, there it is.

2007-08-10T11:54:00.000-06:00

As much as I just wanted to forget about the crap-ass neckline of my Thermal sweater & move on, I knew that I *had* to fix it. After all "Whatever can be fixed, must be fixed" right?

And thank God I did. The neckline now is the stuff dreams are made of (for people like me, anyway). I think my initial mistake was that I didn't pick up nearly enough stitches. Especially around the curvy scoopy corners. Now - if only the knit faerie would visit while I'm sleeping & finish off those pesky sleeves.

And here, just because I'm mass suffering from craft ADD & I can't seem to stop buying yarn & then if that yarn is sitting in a box or a bag, I can't seem to not cast it on my needles for the intended project -- here is my progress on my Road to Golden sweater. I switched up some of the colours & I'm pretty excited about it. I took this picture quickly before I left for work this morning, but you get the idea. The delicious, delicious idea.

Electric Eclectics

2007-08-07T18:18:00.000-06:00

I'm not much in the mood to type a lot, but I do want to share my photos from this past weekend. We went to Meaford for the Electric Eclectics festival & here is what it looked like...
(**note: lots of these pictures are wicked bad, and I didn't even take photos of half the stuff - it was a super fun time - you'll have to take my word & go next year to see for yourself)

I'll get the knitting report out of the way first, I wanted something simple, since I would be in the backseat of a car for a long time & then camping - so nothing fussy. I chose to begin a sleeve of the Road to Golden sweater. I bought all the yarn for this sweater last week, during Romini's sale.
I was practically done by the time we got to meaford. I don't know how it happened, it wasn't even a long drive! I ain't complaining though.

The rest of the weekend involved, but by no means was limited to:
Awesome Architecture!

vast, rolling hills!

The Nihilist Spasm Band!

Silo projections!

Mary Margaret O'Hara!

LLLLLLLLots of LLLLLLLLLLLasers! (courtesy of Edwin Van Der Heide)

A trip to the beach!

Clockdin!

A Tesla Coil!

Superfun!

Secret Project, revealed!

2007-08-06T13:45:00.000-06:00

Phew! Courtney has received her package, so I can now blog about it!

A little while ago, I got a fabulous little ring in the mail from Courtney - she made it & sent it to me as a complete surprise & I was so very touched. I have been wearing the ring practically everyday since then, so I wanted to make her something that hopefully, she would love just as much as I love the ring.

I chose the 'Swallowtail Shawl' from Interweave Knits Fall 2006. I enjoyed making this so much the first time, and was so pleased with the final results, that I knew it'd be a great gift.

I can't remember when I started it exactly, but I think it took me about a month of casual knitting. I used Fleece Artist 'Suri Blue' in the 'Blackberry' colourway. This stuff is an absolute dream to work with. I think I'll need to make myself something out of it, since it was love at first stitch.

The only thing I did differently this time, was increase the number of repeats for the first chart to make it a bit bigger. I got these directions from pepperknit - I'm glad I did, too, since I think it turned out to be just the right size.

It was waiting for Courtney when she got home from holidays & she's reported to me that she loves it. And I loved making it, so we're all even.

I have so many great pictures to share from my awesome weekend at the electric eclectics festival, I'll be back soon to tell all y'all all abouts it.

hot in the city....so hot in the city tonight...

2007-08-03T17:57:00.000-06:00

Just in time for this awesome heatwave we got going on! A wool vest!!

mmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMM.

My 'Back to school U-Neck Vest' from Fitted Knits is complete!

I started this about 2 weeks ago & knit it when I was in need of something that was chunkier than my Thermal, and less complicated than my secret project (which has been mailed off & hopefully I can blog about it soon) I really like it & I think this will get a lot of wear once the mercury drops.

And it's comforting to know that if I ever go down about 20 sizes, it'll still look good. I was sweating like Chris Farley(RIP) while I was trying to get a good shot of the sweater, so I put it on Judy since she doesn't feel temperature.

I used KnitPicks Wool of the Andes, which was a pleasant yarn to work with, at at $1.99US per ball, a very economical option. I was ordering books from them during their 40% off sale and thought I'd be crazy not to throw in some wool as well. I used 7 balls & a bit for this vest, and I added 2" to the length since as written, it would have been a smidge too short for my tastes.

This was my first time doing any sort of boob shaping & I am a great fan! The pattern is easy & fast & enjoyable, but beware - check the pattern errata as there is an error in the back neck shaping as it is written in the book.

Now, what shall I bring to knit at the electric eclectrics festival this weekend?

cottaging, take 2.

2007-07-31T17:06:00.000-06:00

I had a lovely weekend away! G-unit & I went to a cottage with his family in Fenelon Falls where I did lots of swimming & lounging about & drinking...

I carried the watermelon.

I started the buddy to a lone sock I had finished a while ago while we were driving up there, a plain & simple sock using some DGB confetti sock yarn that was sent to me in a swap.
You know you've found the right one for you when they point out a quaint wool shop & even turn around so you can go in & see what's what. For the record, Ferguson's Wool in Myrtle Station is a cute shop with tons of great sock yarn. I bought some tofutsies & some lana grossa Cotton Maya. YUM!

My knitting had fallen out of my bag without me noticing, on the way back to the car I had a bit of a mindfreak when I spotted it on top of this trash bin. MINDFREAK!

I kept the knitting to a minimum while at the cottage, but still managed to get quite a lot done. On the way back I reached the toe.

Ingenious wool holder?

And this morning I sewed up the toe!

This photo shoot was almost painful it's so. hot. SOHOT!

And in Thermal land I've hit a snag. I finished the neckband & giddily put it on to discover...

The neckband is far too tight. One of the things that drew me to this sweater was the scoopy neck. I guess I didn't pick up enough stitches because the band on mine is sort of pulling everything in - and the neckline hits at a weird place. I'm going to have to rip it out & try again.

Ain't it dead yet?

2007-07-21T16:51:00.000-06:00

In case anyone is wondering, it's not a sweater yet.
(I'm all like "come ON already!)
Neither is this....
Or this (a serious case of castonitis going down over here...)

And the 'secret' projects have just turned the corner & are almost ready to be given away.

is it a sweater yet?

2007-07-12T10:53:00.000-06:00

Almost! Or...well...not quite yet.
I divided for the armholes this morning! Exciting!

2007-07-08T20:16:00.001-06:00

For some annoying reason, blogger won't let me type in a title for this entry. That's fine since I didn't really have a clever name.

This weekend my friend Peter & I took the Casino bus to visit our friends Naomi & Ryan in Orillia! It was TONS of fun!

Mostly we cooed & awwed over Lucy, their amazing pug:
we even put her winter coat on so we could take pictures. She wasn't very happy about that.
We ate incredibly delicious food:
This was last night's desert - homemade Shortcake, with Strawberry Salsa & whipped cream on top. Dinner was amazing sauteed vegetables with freshly made mushroom ravioli! AAAHH! I think it was the *napkins matched to the colours of the food* that made everything extra tasty!

We jammed!
der ner ner ner!!!!
par-rum-pa-pa-pum! ba-dum-bum-bum-dum
Peter not only plays a Guitar Hero on PSP, he's actually a Guitar Hero IRL! I played the drums for the first time ever! I wasn't very good, but I had lots of fun!

I had the cutest guest bedroom set-up ever!

This quilt was amazing! All white, with handquilted circles all over it!

so cute! and Cozy!

Naomi & Ryan have made a beautiful home, it was like a mini vacation. The only time I brought out the pointy sticks & string was on the bus. I managed to get the leg of a sock done, but I didn't take any photos of it. I did take almost 100 pictures of Lucy - she's cuter than any sock could ever be.

don't call it a comeback.

2007-07-05T09:18:00.000-06:00

Miss Muffy & Rahime, and, to an extent Simon did a very good job of making me feel like a worthwhile blogger. A summer break? Who was I kidding? Eff that! In fact, maybe I'll even post *more* than usual! maybe. probably not.

To be honest, I only logged into blogger today to edit a previous post. One single word, used so innocently, seems to be steering 'undesirables' to my blog. It sucks to feel sick to your stomach after checking your stat-tracker & seeing the types of google searches that led people here. So I opted to self-edit.

And while I'm logged in, why not take Rahime's advice & show you a progress shot?

I've started the neck placket! hoorah!

I know it looks wee, but the waffle stitch creates an increidbly stretchy fabric - I tried it on & it's all systems go. And the sleeve...that poor sleeve is growing just a little bit every lunch hour.

And oh yeah, I maybe sorta kinda cast-on already for Demi. It was an accident, I swear. I was only going to knit a few rows to see how the yarn looked & before I knew it, I had decided that yeah, the yarn looked pretty awesome & why not just finish the bottom ribbing? And hey, what the heck, lets go for some of those cables?

summer summer summer

2007-07-03T11:05:00.000-06:00

I was wondering if I should just declare summer holiday from blogging. I’m knitting and sewing lots, but I just don’t know what to say about any of it. Maybe it’s because for the last couple of weeks I’ve been knitting endless rounds of waffle stitch. (on size 2 needles…fingering weight yarn...308 stitches per round…if ever there was good incentive to lose a couple of inches round the ole tummy, this is it)

To break up the monotony, I started 2 other projects – both surprise gifts, so I can’t really go blabbing on about them since I’m pretty sure both of these people drop by my blog now & then.
I considered teasing you with the secret projects like some bloggers do – giving you up-close detail shots & promising more when it was done & in the hands of the recipient, but my camera sucks balls at close-up shots. A blurry shot of the delicious Fleece Artist Suri Blue I’m currently seeking respite with wouldn’t do much to show how absolutely beautiful this yarn is. When I first brought it home, I sat on the couch with the skein pushed up against my face, breathing in the Great Eastern.

I’ve also been spending a good amount of my time on ravelry – hiking up my knit-nerd quotient just a little bit higher. I’ve decided that my next sweater project will be the Demi sweater from Rowan Vintage Knits. I ordered the book from Amazon (it came last Friday) and I ordered my yarn from Elan (along with Nancy Bush’s “Folk Socks” book. I’m expecting it today - note to those waiting to get into ravelry – it’s a mother-freaking enabler!) After I emerge from the land of endless waffle, I’ll be stepping into the township of cables and bobbles. I have to do a little adjusting since the largest size in the book is 40” – I’ll need to add a couple of inches to the width so that the sweater is attractively roomy instead of uncomfortably snug.

I may also cast on for “On the Road to Golden” from the new KnitScene magazine. This sweater is gorgeous & I have a stack of Romini gift certificates burning a hole in my pocket. I think it’d be best to select the yarn for this in person since there’s a bunch of colours involved & I don’t want to take any chances ordering it online.

And socks. I was recently given Interweave’s ‘Favourite Socks’ book (hooorahhh!) by my awesome BFF, Tim. I’ve already chosen which socks will be next. I’ve knit the retro rib socks, but there are 24 more to go & I like all of them. While I’m on the subject of Tim, I’d like to hand out this bit of life advice – get yourself a friend in publishing. Seriously. My knitting library wouldn’t be half of what it is today if not for my dear friend T-gain. I love him to bits, but the fact that he can get me Interweave books, (AND a signed copy of Tim Gunn’s book!) Vogue Knitting books, and does it without me asking makes his little halo shine all the more brighter.

Consider this an update. Posts throughout the summer will most likely be sporadic. I may not show my face again until my Thermal resembles a real live sweater. Right now I’m 14” into the body, ready to make the placket! And the one sleeve I carry around with me is about 6” long. Chug chug chug.

In the meantime, don’t forget your SPF and eat lots of local fruits & veggies!

TGIF.

2007-06-22T13:34:00.000-06:00

I've been knitting Thermal pretty much all week & this is what I have to show for it:

2 inches of 1x1 twisted rib & 2 inches of the waffle stitch pattern. I'm really crushing on this thing though - I think about it all the time, I count the minutes until it's back in my hands, and at night when I close my eyes to sleep I swear I can still feel it's cushy fabric. I'm so glad I'm using the Elann baby Cashmere for this - OMGITSSOSOFTICOULDDIEINIT! It occurred to me though - what sort of maniac finishes a grey adult man's sweater & then starts an adult woman's sweater knit on size 2 needles with fingering weight yarn in.....grey? Thankfully the alpaca, merino, cashmere blend makes up for the fact that I'm swimming in a big grey sea.

In hopes of making this go a tiny bit faster, I thought I'd cast on for a sleeve & carry that around in my bag for sporadic ttc, park, restaurant, dancehall etc. knitting. To do this, I needed to free up my favourite size 2 dpns which were in use. Remember the Fleece Artist merino? I had started knitting a simple sock with cables down each side for Gord (I've knit this guy a sweater & about 4 pairs of socks now...I must like him an awful lot) but it was inching along - amazing how much faster you knit when you want the needles for a totally different project.

This colourway is awesome! When I bought it, I thought that the acid green & blue bits would be more prominent, but I like how it's turned out. I let Gord know that the second sock will be along in about 2 months, when I'm done the Thermal sleeves.

Working for the weekend.

2007-06-17T19:22:00.001-06:00

About a week or so ago, I ordered a bunch of Elann's 'Baby Cashmere' so I could start a new project - "Thermal" from Knitty winter '06. Luckily, I got it in the mail mere minutes before I left to go to a friend's cottage for the weekend. I threw a couple of balls of the stuff into my bag with some needles & the pattern & off we went for some serious chillaxing in the Kawarthas.

I cast on in the car (308 stitches, size 2 needles, fingering weight yarn...yipes) & began the 1x1 twisted rib. I've mentioned before how much I dislike 1x1 rib - but add twisted knit stitches to that & watch my chin quiver. About an hour & a half later, I had only knit about 5 rows, but I was pretty pleased with it - so I stowed it away so I could get back to it the next day.

There were bigger & better things to do...like cast on some beer!

Lots of beer. And my friend Dave made a giant pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea so everyone proceeded to get royally crunk. I'd post some pictures, but hilariously enough, out of the 50 or so I took that night, the only one that was clear was the initial photo of the beer fridge. All the others sort of look like this:

The next morning after breakfast & lots of coffee & Gatorade I sat on the deck chatting with friends, answering lots of "what are you knitting?" questions by holding up my measly 5 rows of tiny ribbing. "A sweater". "Oh......awesome?"

What wasn't awesome was when I laid flat my (by now) 2 hours of work & noticed that my stitches were twisted.

M-F'er!!

I swear I totally checked to make sure my stitches weren't twisted. After lots of swears & trying to explain my mistake to non-knitters, I asked the cottage gnome to wish me luck & tore all my work out to start again.

By the time I had cast on all those stitches my interest in knitting was pretty much reduced to nil, so I painted my nails, read some magazines, sang some karaoke and drank some more beers.

All my photos from there-on-in look sort of like this:

That's our fire? I guess?

The next day was home time, so after our visit to the Whetung Gallery & the Antique Barn (where I bought some cute pyrex mixing bowls & an awesome FireKing bowl) I sat in the backseat trying to get back the ribbing I had ripped out. I guess I should mention that I err... well, I actually ended up twisting the stitches AGAIN (GAWD! MissMuffy take note: see? I'm not so great!) but I shamefully "fixed" it by retwisting a stitch. I just didn't have it in my poor little heart to rip it out again. Now I am a little more than half done with the ribbing & very optimistic.

oh happy day.

2007-06-12T18:29:00.000-06:00

A really super great day!

I wore a new skirt I made!
Pattern drafted by me, totally copied from a denim skirt I wear all. the. time. For those who are wondering, yes there is a waistband on this :) And the zipper is yellow! I was on warp speed & made this in about an hour & a half.

I got these totally adorable Keds for half price!

Gord phoned me at work to tell me he scored *TWELVE* pieces of Fiesta Ware at some crazy CBC prop sale. Just the boost my aspiring Fiesta Ware collection needed!

So far so good, right?

Yeah, well then it got even better. I got my invitation to Ravelry & so far I am really, really loving the site. It's so....cozy! And full of knitters! I can tell it's going to be a mega time-sucker-upper.

And then when I got home, there was this lovely postcard waiting for me. A friend I really should get in touch with wrote me to say they were thinking of me.

Lovely.

I love you, Elizabeth Zimmerman.

2007-06-10T17:34:00.000-06:00

*SO* happy with this...

Gord's Saddle Shoulder sweater is finished! Honestly, this was one of the most enjoyable knits I've done in a while - and considering it's pure stockinette, that's saying something.
I started it the first week of May & bound off the neck stitches on Friday night. So about a month in the making.
I have to say that I was a little nervous when I started - there was measuring, and gauge swatches, and percentage systems! Math! But the absolutely perfect fit of this sweater has made me realize that that's exactly what I should be doing every time I start a sweater.

I know its been said before, but I can't not say it - Elizabeth Zimmerman is a mother freaking genius. The raglan & shoulder decreases blew my mind as I knit them! Amazing!

I already wrote about the contrast hem - here it is in action. mmmmm!

I used 12 balls of Elann's Peruvian Wool in 'Oxford Heather Grey' & 1 ball of Patons Classic merino in 'Too Teal' for the hem. The Peruvian wool was great - it's soft enough, the colour is really nice, the price is amazing & I love that they are Canadian. (In fact, I just placed an order for lots of baby cashmere for my next project...more about that later..)

It's actually Gord's Christmas present. I had knit him a different sweater but the fit was way off & not really his style. He was honest & told me that he wasn't too jazzed on it, but that he knew I had spent lots of time on it. I told him I wanted to make him a perfect sweater that he will love. We talked lots about patterns & colours & now we have this - a perfect sweater that he loves. And I love it too! I take it as a great nod to our relationship that we were able to avoid, nay, SMASH the Boyfriend Sweater curse! Gord was able to be honest with me about the original sweater - it takes a brave soul to tell a knitter that they will never wear a gift that has been made just for them. Knitters almost always have pointy sticks in their hands.

Boyfriend approved!

dress me up.

2007-06-09T13:26:00.001-06:00

It's been snot central around here this whole past week. I came down with some nasty symptoms on Monday & have been struggling to feel even part-way human ever since. YUG!

This was the scene on Wednesday .....
I was off work Tuesday & Wednesday. I tried to get a little knitting in since the mercury dropped way down & I figured it was as good a time as any to make some more headway on Gord's Saddle Shoulder sweater which is 100% wool. That's a sleeve there in the photo with me.

To my amazement, the sweater is finished - and currently blocking! There's some fit issues I hope I've fixed with my 'no sissies allowed' approach to blocking... I have my fingers crossed.

This afternoon I spent some time with the dress I started last week & now it's done!

Gord took these photos while standing on a chair, so they're a little wonky & in a bunch of them I'm yawning or making some kind of face.

Anyhow, the dress is cute & I'm pretty pleased with it. It's my own pattern & looking at these photos I see a couple of places that need some tweaking, but on the whole I'd say this dress is ready for the public.
The fabric is a dream - pastel plaid seersucker! I made the obi type belt with some broadcloth from my stash - the green ties were the best I could do - but Gord suggested maybe pink would be better & I think he's right.

My favourite part, I think is the little puff cap sleeves. Will I ever get sick of puffed sleeves? Doubt it!

OH! And P.S. wtf? The last post had adorable baby booties, a baby hoodie & a log cabin pillow....and not one single comment?? *BABY BOOTIES* & no comments? What more do you people want from me?

all projects big & small

2007-06-03T15:05:00.001-06:00

My allergies have been totally kicking my ass all weekend so if this entry is garbled & confusing, lets blame it on all the drugs I'm on.

It was a busy weekend! I spent a lot of it in my sewing room working on a dress. It's almost done, but I'm taking my time with it, so I didn't want to rush completing it just for the sake of having something to show. Luckily, I finished a bunch of other stuff!

First off, I sewed a Clock Din patch onto a tiny hoodie for friends of ours who just had a baby

The baby daddy is a clock din member, Gord made these patches a while ago & we got the teeny tiny hoodie from American Apparel.

Babies are fun to craft for since they're so small, I made these booties in no time!

I used some brown & green DK superwash from my stash. I love how these turned out, they *almost* make me want to knit things for a baby of my own. But not really - some day I'll knit 4 of these & put them on some dag paws.

The free pattern for these little treasures can be found here. This is also the source for the awesome korknisse pattern! This woman is awesome!

And finally - this afternoon I was all about finishing the dress I started on Friday night, but when I went into the sewing room I suddenly found myself making a log cabin pillow for the living room:

Last weekend Gord had asked me to fix a couple of his shirts - they had rips in the elbows, so I turned them into short sleeves. This guy's got an exceptional selection of vintage buttondown shirts, so to toss the shirt fabric away would be a sin. I used the shirt scraps & some stuff from my stash to make this pillow.

(the orangey plaid stuff & the dark blue stuff is the shirts)
I'm deeply in love with this pillow. I followed the instructions from the Crafter's Companion
which is an awesome & inspiring book that you should go buy right now. (I pre-ordered mine & got it way back in November or December, but this is the first project I've done from the book)

I took a small break from all this crafting to see The Sea & Cake on Saturday night. Luckily, the show was across the street from my house & worth every one of the no more than 20 steps it took to get there.

I'm going to go take more drugs. Craft on!

Jane Doe.

2007-05-31T17:23:00.000-06:00

Effing yes guy! Check out my sweet new socks!

I love these so much that I am currently wearing them despite the very hot & muggy conditions. These are my first official tip-toe into the world of making sock patterns & I am pleased as spiked High School dance punch with them.

mmmmm I could just die from how good that heel looks.

The first sock was the test run, the second sock is a little different since I made some fit adjustments. This means that the socks are not exact twins, but I love them like a mother would love even slightly imperfect children.

But what kind of no good mother doesn't name her child? Me, that's who. I'll try to come up with a clever name while I knit the second pair (I gotta...so that I can perfect the pattern & share it with you!)

For those who wish to know, these socks were knit using Socks That Rock in the 'Harlotty' colourway. It's totally awesome!

sew it like it's hot

2007-05-30T14:03:00.000-06:00

To say this is a modified version of Simplicity pattern #4111 is an understatement.

I shortened the sleeves & took out some fullness, rounded the neckline, ditched the elastic beneath the bustline, made the ties longer & wider (and still not wide enough, it seems) I added about 2" to the length & about 1" on either side to the width. I think the only part I kept the same is the top front pieces - the boob bits.

The fabric is my favourite part of the whole thing - but it was noted by some friends that its the expanse of pale white/freckley chest skin that makes the top "sizzle".

After seeing this photo, I have to wonder if its the wrinkles from being caught in the rain & then tossing the shirt to the ground that gives it that extra edge?

Good for drinkin' too!

Harlotty.

2007-05-28T13:14:00.000-06:00

I haven't done it on purpose - I didn't plan on taking a blog break or being a real slack-ass about the whole updating thing.....it just happened.

I've still been knitting, but other things are taking up my time as well. Like our new & exciting back porch container garden (a gushy post about that is forthcoming) and sewing FINALLY. I'll post about that soon as well...

Between the sewing, gardening & allergy season, I've been doing a little work on some socks.

This is some Socks that Rock in the 'Harlotty' colourway (named after the Yarn Harlot). I searched around for a good pattern but decided 'hey - why not go nuts & make up my own sock pattern?' Sometimes I can be totally unpredictable & CRAZY like that. I can't be contained.

So I got out my Vogue Stitchionaries & my perpetual 'stitch a day' calender & tried some stuff out. I knew I needed a pattern with lots of stockinette since I wanted to show off the pretty colours of this yarn. This zig-zaggy pattern was perfect, so I got to work. To my surprise the sock freaking worked....AND I love the pattern....AND it was pretty easy to knit.

I've now cast on for the second one, making some minor changes (ie: I cast on 60 stitches for the first sock but think it's a little snug, for the second one, I'm casting on 66) and making extensive notes as I go along so that I can share the pattern when I'm done.

cast off, Eh!

2007-05-22T20:58:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the title - I thought of it yesterday & decided it was too lame to keep it all to myself.

I know I'm due for a bigger update than what I'm about to give, but I wanted to post about the mail I got today! I'll update again, hopefully tomorrow with some knitting updates.

I finished my sock swap socks & sent them off today - and when I got home, the socks from my sock pal were there with the mail! Lovely!

They fit wonderfully, and are really a beautiful pair of socks. My swap pal Ann used some Cherry Tree Hill yarn in a bright orange called 'Tangerine' - this yarn feels really, really great. The beaded cuff makes them extra special - I love them!

Thanks, Ann!

taking it EZ

2007-05-09T11:52:00.000-06:00

I've been updating like whoah! My boss has been away for almost 2 weeks now, and today I'm left all alone in the office, so I figured this is prime posting time.

The weather gods sure hit it out of the park yesterday & the springy goodness followed me into Romni on my way home. I went in just to buy some contrasting wool in a nice bright, unexpected colour for the hem of Gord's sweater. I go totally ape every time I see a clever hem in a contrasting colour - I wanted to do the same.

These were the ones that spoke to me the most, and I bought them hoping one would also speak to Gord. (The green is actually called 'Spring Green' I didn't notice that until I got home)

and because it's literally impossible for me to not spend more money than I plan on when I enter into a yarn store, I also bought some sock yarn...

The Regia will probably become socks my my mom. She is allergic to wool, but likes hand knit socks - so when I see a nice non-woolly sock yarn, I buy it for her. As for when I'll get around to making my mother so many pairs of socks, who knows - but at least my heart is in the right place. Too bad most of the cotton sock yarns I come across are in decidedly femme colours, as I have another person in my life who is allergic to wool but is a boy.
The Lang Super Soxx is really super great colours - and I really love making socks with this stuff. I didn't realize until I got up to the cashier that these 4 balls of yarn have a bunch of the same colours going on. (not pictured, but also purchased, some 'suede' yarn for more baby Uggs & the new issue of Interweave Knits)

I came home & asked which Gord preferred - the Blue or the green. He said blue. Which made me happy, since that's the one I actually liked the best.

This is my first Elizabeth Zimmerman pattern. I've often read of people who were unsure or nervous about following EZ's instructions, but take her word for it & end up thoroughly satisfied. I want to be one of these people. So when she told me to cast on & start knitting the body - with no mention of ribbing, or knitting in the hem, I did it. But I keep getting distracted by the rolly bottom of the sweater.

I re-read the instructions a bunch of times, making sure that I FOR SURE was not told to do any bottom work. Then I read her instructions for picking up the hem & sewing it up. I had my doubts about how it would look - I did a bunch of google searches but most of the results were about knitting the hem in as you go along. I started doubting EZ....I started wondering if I should frog it & start over with a knit in hem....

I decided to do a swatch. (I hate to admit it, but although I've been an avid knitter for many years, I hardly ever knit a gauge swatch. my bad.)

I knit a little test then picked up stitches along the back of the bottom edge, just as Elizabeth tells you to. And then I knit the hem using her 10% decrease method (which, by the way, is mother-freaking genius) and sewed it up just like she said - not casting off, keeping the stitches live & taking only a scant bit of the sweater stitch as I went along.

my swatch has a secret!

So there it is from the front - near to perfect.

And on the back, which will be the inside of the sweater, we have a splash of colour to show that Gord is a fashion-forward man, not afraid of colour.

And guy, look how totally stretchy it is. Awesome.

I consider this my first, gentle reminder to trust in what Elizabeth Zimmerman tells me to do. If she told me to jump, I would ask how high. Of course, her response would be "My dear, however high the right height for YOU would be."

domestication? Is that you?

2007-05-08T09:20:00.000-06:00

I guess the best word to describe how I'm currently aiming to live is 'quaint'. I love sitting in my sunny living room thinking about what I'll make in my sunny sewing room. I love making delicious dinners with my best friend/boyfriend (the dinners are so yummy I've started taking photos. When I told Gord that I might start a food blog, he pointed out that that would put a lot of pressure on dinner...but seriously, there's some good cookin' going down - I think I'll start posting about the particularly delicious ones here.)

a cute little unidentified plant that Gord brought home for me yesterday!

I love jumpingclimbing into our extra comfy bed (we put Gord's deluxe futon between my deluxe box spring & mattress! indulgent!) I love pouring over quilt patterns & afghan patterns (I've actually started a miter square blanket, but this one makes me want to start over only using tahki cotton classic, just like in the Mason & Dixon book) & ideas for pillows & various home comforts. Spring is here, and I want to be the best me I can be. Not waste a second, spend all my time creating and crafting and idea-ing, and laughing.

I'm in LOVE with the moss that has grown in this random pot on my back porch - it's like a mini bog!

Also, I want to post way more, not wait until I only have a finished project to show off - but to *share* more. Talk about process.

And with that, I present to you a little glimpse of one completed sock swap sock. I won't show the whole thing since I'm not sure if my swap partner is lurking around, but I will say that those of you who liked the looks of the Anastasia Socks were right. This pattern is wonderful!

I've only knit 2.5 pairs of toe-up socks. I had convinced myself I didn't like it. With these, I'm ditching the magic loop, two at once technique & knitting toe up, one at a time on dpns & I'm really liking it. Also, I think I've finally found a way to cast off that creates a nice sproingy edge that doesn't cut off the circulation in my leg! Awesome!

***edited to add:
I had just posted this & then discovered I have been tagged with a meme by Shannon! (I had been tagged by Rahime a while back but couldn't think of 7 things at that time, but with my new *sharing* policy, here I go...)

1. I collect old nancy drew books, interestingly printed envelope paper (you know how on the inside of envelopes there's a printed pattern so you can't see what's inside? not sure what I'll do with it yet though) and I'm beginning a serious vintage kitchenware thing.

2. When I was a kid I had 40% hearing loss in my left ear. I am still sort of hard of hearing, I'm convinced I'll be totally deaf one day.

3. I have a secret freckle.

4. When I worked at the bookstore I memorized all the names of the dogs that used to come by with their owners. I ocassionally spot these dogs out for walks & greet the dog, not the owner, by name.

5. I pierced my own nose when I was 16.

6. I am a recovering pack rat with a dream of one day having barely any posessions.

7. I could live the rest of my life only eating peanut butter.

I'm supposed to tag 7 more people, but I'm opting not to - but if you'd like, please share!

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin Roof!...........Rusted!

2007-05-06T16:43:00.000-06:00

A new sweater fell of the needles today!

'Rusted Root' by ZephyrStyle. I knit this project purely to get rid of some Cotton Fleece I had in my stash, leftover from the shrug I knit for Susannah. I needed to buy more yarn though, so I went & got 3 balls of 'Cherry Moon.' wrong dyelot, I was drunk, yadda yadda yadda, you know the rest.

I made lots of modifications to this sweater. At least, I *think* I did. I never even looked at it past page one. Basically, I read the first line where it tells you how many stitches to cast on & how to divide them & followed the lace pattern - but I never even looked at the rest of the pattern. I didn't do the puff sleeves, but if I knit it again (which I probably will, but maybe with a different lace pattern? Who knows.) I'm going to add just a bit... for some extra pa-zang.

I love how it fits - but where the new dyelot was joined in pains me. I think I'll knit a test swatch of both dyelots & do a test re-dye. The really ironic thing about this is that I bought 3 skeins of the new dyelot, hoping that with the one I already had, I'd be able to eek this sweater out (the pattern called for 5) I now have a full, untouched skein of the new dyelot left. Meaning I have what I started with. And I couldn't have knit the whole sweater in the same dyelot, and I guess I still could. Some day.

Overall, a very satisfying knit except for the horrible blaring bad bit straight across my chest.

Oh, and about my chalkboard that a couple of you were admiring; I found it in the garbage of a church about 10 years ago, and carried it home in the rain. I've always loved it, but the other day when i was looking at it against the new wall colour & my little green chair, I re-fell in love.

new beginnings.

2007-05-05T10:45:00.000-06:00

Things are slowly being put in their place, walls are being painted & the apartment I've lived in for the past 9 years is finally becoming a *home*. Gord & I have already painted the Living room, which has made a huge difference. For years the walls were a bizarre burgundy colour with limey green trim. Totally wacky. We've painted the trim fresh white & the walls are 'Polar sky' blue & I'm in love with sitting in here.

We still have a bit of work to do, but it's coming along quite nicely.

I've made a couple allusions to the fact that the sweater I knit for Gord's christmas gift wasn't as awesome as I was hoping it'd be. The fit was awkward & the raglan sleeves made him uncomfortable. I was nervous about the whole Boyfriend sweater curse thing, but I think the fact that Gord was able to tell me that honestly, the sweater wasn't his thing is a good sign that we are solid as a rock. So for the past little while we've been searching for the perfect pattern & the perfect colour of grey. We've finally settled on Elizabeth Zimmerman's Saddle Shoulder Sweater from Knitting Without Tears(LOVE!). And as for the wool, I discovered the perfect shade of grey while at Lettuce Knit last week. The woman who works there (who also does CosmicPluto) was wearing the exact shade we were looking for, she told me it was Elann Peruvian Wool in 'Oxford Heather Grey". I put in an order that night & it arrived yesterday. (side note - dudes, Elann is so awesome! and fast! and cheap! and Canadian!)

I started last night with a gauge swatch & everything! I took measurements, I made a little sketch, I'm determined to do right by my man! And by Elizabeth Zimmerman!

moving day.

2007-05-02T08:26:00.000-06:00

If I ever move, this is how I'm gonna do it - by moving the WHOLE HOUSE.

Yesterday I helped Tim move his stuff out of our house (2 flights x's 2 loads) into Donald's house (1 flight x's 2 loads) then we moved Gord's stuff (3 flights) into my house (one flight) making it *our* house.

I wonder when I'll get full use of my arms & legs, because right now, it seems like the most far-fetched idea I've ever had. Luckily, the thrill of creating a *home* with the man I'm totally crazy for is helping to ease the pain. Like A5-35 for the soul!

In knitting news...I started Rusted Root from Zephrystyle 3 days ago & I'm zipping right along. There's one huge major snag - I'm knitting this because a) I love the pattern and b) I had leftovers of the Cotton Fleece I used to knit Susannah's shrug. I didn't have *quite* enough to make the sweater though, so I went to the Knit Cafe to buy supplement yarn. Then I went out with Tim to have lots of beer & nachos to say s'long to the roommate life & when we got home I started up the sweater with the new yarn I had bought. Borderline drunk & by the light of one dim lamp in the living room.

When I saw the sweater in the sober light of day I discovered that the new Cherry Moon is quite a different colour than the old cherry moon. It doesn't just look like different dye lots - it looks like two completely different colours. I'm continuing on though - I'm not sure what I'm hoping will happen - but we'll see.

mixed berries. mixed emotions.

2007-04-24T19:05:00.000-06:00

I've entered into a sock swap.

My initial feelings were real upbeat & excited, but now I'm experiencing swap buddy anxiety.

I have lots of sock yarn in my stash but I wanted to buy yarn *specifically* for my swap partner. I went to Lettuce Knit & bought 2 skeins of Lorna's Laces in a great colourway called 'Mixed Berries'

A great bundle of deep reds, blues, pinks & purpley.

Then I spent lots of time flipping through my issues of Interweave Knits, Vogue Knitting, all my books & the binder where I keep patterns that I've printed off from the internet trying to find *the* perfect pattern.

I needed something to show off my skills, after all, my sock buddy apparently has many years of sock knitting under her belt. I've only been knitting socks for a little over a year now & while I think I've created some pretty primo socks, I still have lots to learn. (that, I think, is one of my favourite things about knitting & craft in general) Also, I needed something interesting that would compliment the yarn.

Then I found the Shimmer Socks pattern from Magknits. Perfect! The stitch pattern was new & interesting to me & from what I could tell it would do a great job of showing off this bowl of berries.

And so I began. I did my first provisional cast on using the helpful tutorial at Knitty - the cast on was nice - it took me a really long time, but I was pleased with the end result. Then I began the pattern.

I was thrilled! The stitch pattern is great for hand painted yarns & I motored on with high hopes. It started getting a little lop sided, but I paid no mind, hoping it'd sort itself out as I went along.

It never did. it got worse - the pattern got wonkier & wonkier as I went along, no matter what I did to try & straighten it out....

The sock was lost to me. I was no longer in charge - the sock told *me* where it was going, I was just a willing victim. I finally put a stop to it. Gave the Shimmer sock the finger.

I took the other yarn cake & cast on for my second pattern pick. 'Anastasia's Socks' from pepperknit blog.

The pattern is easy & quick going - but I'm worried. Is it too plain for a sock swap? Shouldn't I be knitting socks that will astound the recipient? Should I try & fix the Shimmer sock?

Should I try a whole new pattern altogether?

busy....like a bee.

2007-04-22T15:32:00.000-06:00

Happy Earth Day, everyone!

I planted some seeds today!

Just a few though - I thought I had more, but these were all I could find.

Zinnias, mini sunflowers & some Heirloom Sweet Pea seeds (Lord Nelson & Lady Grisel Hamilton Sweet Peas, to be precise!)

I'm incredibly excited for spring to take the drivers seat & drive me right into Summer. I hadn't realized it until last week, but this winter gave me a *serious* case of the Blah-wah-wah-wahs. I experienced a lethargy that was beyond the scope of simply blaming it on my generation. But no more! I'm ready to pop out of my own metaphorical peat pellet! Ready to ride my bicycle & eat lots of locally grown fruits & vegetables! (Speaking of which, Gord & I will hopefully be able to rig up some sort of vegetable growing operation on the back deck)

Have I mentioned? That my boyfriend & I are jumping into co-habitation mode & as of May 1st I'll have a new roommate!

In anticipation of this, I've been trying my best to get rid of stuff that's been cluttering up my apartment. I'm a Grade A pack-rat & I'm trying desperately to get rid of what I don't need.

This weekend I started with my sewing room - it was getting out of control!

OI!

I was kidding myself for a while by saying it was a *creative* mess - that chaos like this meant that the room was being put to good use & that there were "things happening" in there. But then I'd turn around & use the fact that the room was so messy as my excuse for *not* doing anything.

So Saturday morning I went in there with a mission - a game plan. A strategy. I was going to have a box for things I would give to other people. I would have a box for items to be donated to the Goodwill. I would have a bag for paper to be recycled. I would have a large garbage bag for everything else I didn't need.

I had a camera to take photos of things I should have gotten rid of years ago but held onto for some reason or another.

Such as this 'yarn dolly' given to me for christmas:

This is cute, for sure (but still, WTF??) - I just don't know what to *do* with it. I have had her sitting in my sewing room for over a year now & I think it's time she moves on to someone elses home.

This little bear & skunk figurine was given to me by my great friend Darren about 7 years ago. It's lovely. It's adorable. It's a *skunk* playing *guitar* to a *bear* holding *flowers* while sitting on top of a *mushroom*. That's a lot of cute going on in one little porcelain figurine, and it's time I stop being so greedy - more people need to see this!

This scarf is awesome. about 4 years ago my cousin & I decided that for our family's gift exchange we would *make* each other gifts. I made him a sock monkey & he freaking learned how to knit & made me this awesome scarf. He said that he'd come home from class, crack open a beer, watch Hockey & knit this scarf. AMAZING! It's a little wonky in some spots, but that makes me love it *MORE*. The thing is, I'm not the only fan of this scarf. Moths love it too...

Fawk!
After I took these photos, I decided I must do all I can to save. this. scarf. I know what it is to put so much work into making something for some one. I cannot let a couple (um, 5 or so.. ) of moth holes get me down. I think I may felt it & see what I can do with it.

This...this is just one of the beauties I got rid of. A couple of summers ago my friend Peter & I were riding our bicycles around town & happened upon a Jamboree (!!!) at a grade school. We got there near the end of it, so at the book table they were encouraging us to take all the books we could jam into a bag for one dollar. There were tons of Reader's Digest 'Condensed Novels' which are probably some of the most handsomely design books I've ever seen. Peter & I snatched them up, not quite sure of what we were going to do with them - but we wanted them.

They are filled with amazingness. And mold. These books make my nose tingle & my eyes water & my skin crawl. I've taken a bunch of photos of their insides & outsides in hopes of using the photos as inspiration - but the books.......they will go.

I've started a special photo set of these things in my flickr

It felt crazygood to just toss things! I've never, ever been the type who can let go of stuff - but I'm hoping this is a new leaf. My sewing space is *so* tidy & awesome now. I just want to sit in there all day long.

Trust me, this bookshelf looks a billion times better.

This room means a lot to me. Tim & Donald surprised me with a 'While you were Out' style room makeover last year. While I was at work, they painted, put up some awesome artwork, tons of hooks, set me up with lots of shelf space & made me cry. They loved me enough to do this for me! I love this room! It deserves to be clutter-free!

Now everything is in its place, the sun is beaming in through the window & there's not one dust rainbow to be seen!
TA DA!

Next stop - my bedroom....soon to be Gord's own private music hideaway.

Spring? Is that you?

2007-04-19T18:44:00.000-06:00

SSSSSssssssssssunny sunshine! Finally. Every year when the weather finally turns this crucial corner I feel like hugging random people on the street. "We made it man, we really made it!"

Also, warm sun means that I can, if I want, wait in the park on a bench for my boyfriend & knit.

Here I am knitting those effing cotton socks. These socks are too small for the intended recipient, but I've been having such a hard time knitting them that I really don't think I could handle it if I were to rip back & add length to the foot.
I took this picture because this song came on my ipod & it's by a band named 'Sunshine' I've never heard of this band & I have no idea how it ended up on my ipod but it wasn't terrible. (note to self: should knit a little ipod cozy - look how scratched up it is!)

On my way home I stopped & picked up this super cute ceramic thing to keep my needles in!

I'm a great admirer of people who keep their knitting needles in jars & now I am one of them! Yes!

It occurred to me that I've been doing so much knitting with circulars & dpns that I have been sort of neglecting my nice long straights. Maybe for my next project I'll treat myself to some choice needles.

Now......

Nice huh? This is some Fleece Artist right here - this is really super stuff - that acid green colour had me at hello. The thing is, I've started knitting 'Brenda's Socks' & I'm not sure the pattern is right for this yarn.

From the looks of the cuff, if I were to knit this in a plainer pattern a subtle stripey thing would happen with the browns, blues & greens. Yes, guy! But I'm having a tough time finding just the right one. Time to spend some one on one with my pattern books!

whama-lama-ping-pong

2007-04-17T20:01:00.000-06:00

Fresh off the needles!

62 stitches & 2x2 rib, size 2 needles
Lang Supersoxx stripes. colour #6351.

The stripes in these were totally confusing - I love how they turned out but I could see no rhyme or reason to the sequence of the colours. I'm not complaining - I totally dig on these. I just wish there were more than 2 pink stripes per socks.

With each newly knit pair of socks I've been forcing myself to toss one pair of "bad" socks. Socks made acrylic, usually with some 'cutsie' pattern on them. This time I think it will be the army green socks with shadows of horses on them. Remember when shadows of horses were the shit? Even cooler than wolves or fawns?