he ain't heavy, he's my lover.

I have to take a break from blogging. And not a Celine Dion break or a Cher break where I *say* I'm taking a break & then the next thing you know I'm playing shows in Vegas. A real one.

Blogging is something I normally like to do - but I just feel so stretched - so thinly spread. I can't do it. Right now the love of my life comes first - and although it may come as a shock, the love of my life is Gord, not knitting. (Knitting is up there though.) Things have been incredibly tough lately - and I don't think it'll get much easier any time soon.

I'll still be updating my flickr & ravelry pages, so you can keep track of me. But for now, stay warm, cuddle up close to what/who you love, keep me in your thoughts & I'll see you in a couple of months. (I'm thinking August-ish...since that's when the 'Consolidation' chemotherapy ends for gord.)


hearts,
Nicole

snow day...err...weekend.

Things have been extra lazy & hazy around the apartment - we were completely without heat for a couple of days (I'll mention, just for the sake of mentioning it, that the couple of days we were heat-free were actually THE COLDEST EFFING DAYS EVER) - making being anywhere other than the bed, beneath the duvet, a heavy blanket & an electric blanket, wearing sweaters and socks and hats totally uncomfortable.

Part of me, some sick part of me, kind of liked *having* to be snuggled up in bed, but I guess that's easier said by the person who can leave during the day & go to a heated office. Poor Gord had to put up with the cold all by himself. It's fixed now, and not a moment too soon, because the day after it was fixed, we got a massive douse of bad weather.

This is what I looked like upon returning home (2 hours after I had left) from an honest to goodness try at getting to work on Friday morning. It didn't work.

Luckily, the day before, I had cashed in most of my Shopper's Drug Mart reward points for a Nintendo DS! So I spent the day playing some Animal Crossing & some Brain Age & finished up a pair of socks for Gord.


I used some Emu Superwash DK that a swappy pal sent to me, and size 3 needles.
I started these when Gord was first in the hospital - the second sock didn't get made straight away for a number of reasons, but over the past couple of months, there have been comments like "Oh, nothing feels better on my feet than handknit socks" or "Boy, these store bought socks are no good for my circulation" etcetera. I picked up on these hints & decided to whip the second one out this weekend. I can now strike these off the list of 'unfinished projects that are just nag nag nagging me all the time.'

Oh, and I really do have to say a big huge thank you to everyone who wished Gord a Happy Birthday! He seemed quite touched that so many of you took the time to send along well-wishes! And, thank you to Amy and Julia who awarded me with a 'You Make my Day Award!" It made my day! Really & truly!

G-Unit, another year of excellence.

Today is Gord's Birthday!

I got the day off work (!!!) & we ended up having a fantastic day!

Woke up & put on my shirt..
(Note to iron-on letter manufacturers: please include more than one 'R' per package. Having only the one meant I had to go for old-fashioned 'Gords Gal' rather than today's hip & edgey sounding 'Gords Girl'.)

We put on our winter boots...

so cozy.

And headed up for some delicious Birthday Breakfast

Nummy.

My original plan was to go up the CN Tower, but it was really cloudy & snowy today so we axed that idea & just took a really, really long & round-about streetcar ride to the PowerPlant.

I go nutso for the TTC font.

Check out that knit Cobra! Steven Shearer at the PowerPlant.

There was also a great piece about the AIDS quilt - some panels from the quilt are there, with a documentary on how the quilt blocks are curated & stored. Pretty interesting.

We headed home & snuggled up on the couch to watch some Deadwood.

The couple that wears handknit socks together, stays together.

Lastly, we ordered up some Indian Take out


I'd say that it was definitely one of the most enjoyable days we've spent together in a long, long time - and a super way to celebrate my most favourite person ever.

(As a quick update, Gord is now in remission & going through his next stage of chemo - it's long (30 weeks) & tiring, but he's doing well - the fact that we spent his birthday outside, around town, riding the subway & streetcars is just totally amazing to me. Today, his birthday - felt *so* far away in October when he was diagnosed & this afternoon as we rode past the hospital we both remarked about how even though it was only 3 months ago that our whole lives changed, it feels like a whole lifetime ago. The time just keeps going by. We've been so lucky in all of this - thank you for thinking of us.)

CheckMark!

A new sweater!

Cabled yoke sweater named 'Carmella's Cardigan' from an up-coming Patons 'Up-side Downers' book.

I knit this for work, but I get to keep it. A pretty sweet deal, I think. This is made with Patons Shetland Chunky 'Rich Teal.' I really like this yarn. It's mainly acrylic, with a little bit of wool, but it's soft & machine washable. The only downside? This particular colour turned my bamboo needles blue-ish.

The fit is good, but I couldn't get any good pictures of me in it. Also, I tend to finish sweaters on Sundays - the day I hardly ever make it into the shower. My Judy is much nicer to look at.

There was one fit issue, but it was my fault.

I was picking up stitches along the top for the collar - when I got to the right side, I started to panic because I hadn't picked up enough & I was running out of space - so I over compensated on that one side. Such a dumb mistake since I could have just picked up less but what can you do?

I ran a piece of yarn through some sticthes on that side of the collar, and pulled it until it was flat like the other side.

Nice.

I'm thinking I just need to buy bigger buttons & this is good to go.

Now onto my cabled yoke

cue-hoot.

Tiny owl, made for my friend Tim's birthday, with help from moonstitches.
My mind is already aflutter with more ideas for this little guy.

when bad dye lots happen to good people.

Last week I decided I'd start knitting socks chronologically -- starting with the oldest sock yarn in my stash. Considering I only started knitting socks about 2 years ago, it's not terribly old stuff & I still like most of it. First up was some DGB self striping I bought on clearance at Romni about a year & a half ago. The colours are cute & I used DGB for the very first pair of socks I ever knit & they are still awesome & hole-free.

Everything was cool until I got to a couple of yucky bits in the peach stripe. It just got worse, but I was on the bus on my way home & it was all I had to keep me sane. (If you've ever ridden the Dufferin bus in Toronto, you'll understand what I mean.) So I kept going & the yuckiness just kept getting worse.

The stripe closest to the needles is supposed to be the same mauve-y colour as the ones that come before it. What it is though, is a drabby substitute. I can see that things get back to normal with the colours a couple of yards ahead - I will rip back & fix it. woe.

In knitting victory, super cute baby chucks!

I used this pattern, I knit these with Patons kroy sock yarn in black & white, and used size 2 needles. The pattern calls for worsted weight, but the recipient has particularly tiny feets.

i heart me, apparently.

Merry Christmas to me....from me.

New books!

I'mma totally going to knit these snail mittens from The Knitter's Book of Yarn! And holy moses, Knit Knit is the nicest eye candy I've indulged in in a long, long time.


Mondial Gold Cashmere from Little Knits. . I'm thinking for the Katherine Hepburn cardigan from Lace Style.

Lace Wing sock yarn from Little Knits. The colours of this yarn are so rich & deep. And I have to say, ordering from little knits was a pleasure!


Habu cashmere. Oh what to do, what to do with 182 yards of lace weight cashmere? Mostly, I couldn't resist the attractive packaging. I bought this at Lettuce Knit along with..

Dream in Color 'Smooshy' sock yarn. This is a sublime mix of greens - and totally smooshy!

A Dream in Colour baby cardigan kit! I couldn't resist the cuteness of everyone else's sweaters! I didn't even notice the 40$ price tag! Yoinch! But it's cute, so who really cares?

Elann Peruvian Highland wool - for a project I have in my brain & would like to put on my body. I may need a darker brown. Good thing I got this...

shade cards!

Also newly acquired:

I discovered one of the perks of my job...when a co-worker de-stashes.

A *gigantic* cone of rusty coloured tweed. It feels slightly felted, which I *love*. I just have no idea of what kind of yargade I'm dealing with here. I'd like to make something similar to the Drops jacket, but I'd hate to run short of yarn.

10 skeins of a now discontinued Patons wool. 'Ballybrae' is a gorgeous tweed that smells super lanolin-y! I can't wait to find the perfect project for this.

Whew! So that should be enough to keep me going for a while. I still have a bunch of lingering projects that need finishing up. The Tangled Yoke cardigan is taking for.ev.er. I have some socks on the needles, and 2 cardigans that need sleeves. I pinkie swear I will not start another sweater until those sleeves are finished. pinkie. swear.

I Heart Gansey.

2008. Yeow.

I've decided to make a couple of changes to how I operate this year. My first goal is to get rid of all. my. clutter. Last weekend Gord & I did a number on the kitchen & it feels so much better. Lighter. EASIER. When I reach for a mixing bowl now, I don't have to play Jenga with whatever is in front of the bowls...because there is nothing in front of the bowls. Everything has its place, and whatever there wasn't a place for has been packed up to be donated to the Goodwill.

I started to do the same cleansing process in my sewing room & then it struck me. I need to finish the projects I've already started. First up, my I Heart Gansey sock.

Pattern: I Heart Gansey socks from the six socks knitalong Yahoo Group
Yarn: Fleece Artist Merino.....2/6, maybe? Not sure of the colourway either.

I started these socks in August. I'm not sure why the second sock sat in sock purgatory for so long, considering I fully & completely fell in love with the first one.

Our Sea Shanty floors don't do anything to show off the amazingness of this yarn.

These socks are lovely.

I was hoping that the good luck of this, my first finished project of 2008 would carry on to my next project.
It didn't.

This is a baby Converse bootie. There is only one because this is *HUGE*. Considering these are meant for a tiny tiny baby, there will have to be a second attempt using smaller yarn & needles. So cute though...SO CUTE.

Next UFO to finish up is my semi-secret purple cabley thing, a sleeve of a cardigan, and my Tangled Yoke cardigan. And *then* I can get down to the good stuffs.

Oh, and as an added bonus...

I made these socks for my friend Donald a while ago but gave them to him before I got to take a photo. He was wearing the on new Years Eve, so I snapped a shot of them.

Not a very good one, but you get the idea. I used no pattern for these - just a simple sock with cables running down each side and contrasting toe & heel. I used Lana Grossa Meilenweit Cotton for these - a lovely sproingy cotton sock yarn, perfect for those poor, poor people who are allergic to wool.

Happy Quitiversary!

Hoorah!

Your Quit Date is: Tuesday, January 02, 2007 at 8:43:00 AM
Time Smoke-Free: 365 days, 10 hours, 8 minutes and 25 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 5481
Lifetime Saved: 1 month, 11 days, 20 hours
Money Saved: $2055.37

One year ago yesterday, I smoked my last cigarette.

According to quitnet.com I have saved over TWO THOUSAND dollars (where did I ever get the money to afford such an expensive habit??) , not smoked FIVE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY ONE cigarettes (when did I have the time to smoke that much?) and added an extra month to my life. Sure I've also added the inevitable quitting inches to my waist, but that will be this year's goal to tackle.

I feel good, my skin looks great, I don't cough up disgusting shit every morning, I have no reason to stand outside in the freezing cold or the rain. I don't smell. I am a non-smoker. I was born... born to be alive.


And I don't miss it. Not even one single teeny tiny bit.

crimmus.

Christmas. It's over.

For the first time in a long time, I just sort of sat back & let Christmas happen - and it was awesome.

There were Christmas Miracles...
Gord's niece Sophie was finally moved to a hospital closer to his sister, and we got to visit. She's the sweetest little girl. I got a little choked up when Gord held her, they've managed to get past some pretty scary health issues - but they are both recovering so well. Hopefully Sophie will get to go home to her anxious parents soon.

We spent Christmas Eve at my sister's house - filled with good cheer, bad singing, and lots of wine
My family is quite large, and for as long as I can remember, we've gathered on Christmas Eve to sing carols & get excited for Santi Claus. My aunts say that we do it "you know, for the Kids!" But this year I noticed there was not one single child in the room as we barked and screetched our way through timeless classics.

Gord & my dad, doing it for the kids.
My sister & I re-created a christmas photo from when we were small.

And then I think I remember playing Guitar Hero very, very badly & passing out on the fold-out couch. My new year's resolution is to NOT drink so much wine next Christmas Eve.

Christmas knitting was small & cute.

Socks for my mother.
Pomatomus from knitty.
Meilenweit Cotton Maya (can't remember the colourway?)

I'm deeply in love with these socks. The yarn shows off the pattern beautifully & they are SO soft & sproingy.

Mittens for my sister
Bird in Hand
Patons Classic merino in black & grey & a bit of bright pink

I love these. They have so many cute little details, like the braiding around the cuff & the little birds on the thumbs (I made a mistake in the left mitt & the bird ended up on the top of the thumb.) and the flowers on the palms. It was hard for me to give these up, which means they are a good gift. I'll be making some for me soon.


I also made a pair of socks for my dad, but forgot to take a photo. boo.

So now I'm back to regular scheduled knitting. I spent some time ordering yarn online the other day, in preparation for some projects I'd like to start soon, but mostly I've been spending lots of time in my jammies, watching DVDs, eating bonbons & getting to know my new friend Quatchi.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas....say what??

By this time last year, most of my christmas crafting excel spreadsheet was filled in red (the colour I used to indicate a project was finished) or pink (the colour I used to indicate a projects' imminent finishing). I made *ALL* of my gifts last year - 9 pairs of socks, 3 adult sweaters, a full size quilt, 2 hats, 6 aprons, and I forgetwhatelse..... It was intense.

This year, despite having taken the Handmade pledge, I find myself sitting in a tiny pile of half- finished projects. A sock....a mitten....one half of a bag. I'm in the christmas spirit, I can feel christmas, I am excited for it - but the shopping, the crafting, even the thinking of a good gift - tires me out. I've ordered a bunch of stuff from etsy & even snuck in a couple of gifts that aren't handmade (shh!) but still, my arms are basically bereft of gifts to give. My spirit, she runs high, but I'm operating on like, 20% energy. Anyone I've confessed this to immediately jumps to my defense: "No one expects you to have gifts! Not after what you've been through." Sure, the past couple of months have been busy & tiring & draining & actually, I don't even really remember the month that Gord was in hospitals & being tested & diagnosed. But for some reason I just cannot let myself off the hook for having little to give.

Mostly I am looking forward to a whole week off where I will try to do stuff for *me*. I plan on making dresses, knitting myself some socks, finishing up some sweater projects & organizing my sewing room. I want to *finish a book* & take an afternoon nap. I want to play my parent's Wii. And drink wine. Lots of it.

I did manage to finally get a haircut. The Thermal photos were the slap in the face that I needed. My hair! It was getting huge & unruly & so gross! Now. Short. and sassy.

Secret Snowflake bonanza!

Well how about that? Here I am with another post!

Tonight, upon our return from the hospital (Gord's in radiation therapy now. Today was his first day & it went alright, I think.) I nearly tripped over the Large. Box. that was in our front hallway.

My Secret Snowflake had arrived!!

I signed up late for this swatch & was overjoyed when I found it I could still take part. This year, my partner Jennifer *really* outdid herself!

She definitely focused in on one of my all time favourite things.....*GORD!* included in the package was a pendant with Gord's picture on it, a quilted wall hanging with Gord's photo in the middle, and a softie photoframe with a picture of Gord on either side. Amazing! But that's not all! A super incredible 'Fuck Cancer" pillow! It's Gord approved! There was also a great hairband, a mini lunchbox keychain, pens with mini teeny tiny boogle, Yahtzee & pop-o-matic trouble on the ends !! These things are *AWESOME*, a book of krazy knitting photo postcards, a healing art doll & the mooooost beautiful bag *ever!* Perfect for my knitting!

I was really so touched by everything she sent - it was amazing fun to open everything & read her little notes. And the treasures inside were made with love, I can tell.THANK YOU!


So, the first completed christmas gift came off the needles the other day,

A hat for Gord's grandma.

Kind of sort of a Rangoli hat.

I rescued some Patons Decor from work to make this. I had no idea how much yarn I had, it was leftover from another project, so panic set in when I started to run out of yarn & still had a whole lot more to go. I began decreasing way, way earlier than the pattern calls for so it's not as slouchy as some I've seen. I also omitted the bobbles. I quite like it & Gord thinks his grandma will too.

Here I am trying to look like a grandma.

So now onto more christmas knitting. It won't be the craziness it was last year, I'm keeping it small & thoughtful this year. To be honest, I'm just *too* *tired* to put any sort of pressure on myself. I'll just have to design a lovely I.O.U. tag.

Yesterday I spotted this tote in the new Interweave & it struck me as something my mother would like. Before I knew it I was shuffling in my stash to find suitable yarn. I found some Patons Classic merino in 'Natural mix' that will work & so far, so good. I just hope I can get er done for christmas.


I've also cast on for these absolutely amazing mittens. I am totally in love with them & I've only done the cuff. They are perfect! I already plan on making a second pair for myself.

Speaking of myself:

A secret project. For *me.*