14 November 2011

first bump.

When G was first diagnosed with Leukemia in 2007,  I quickly learned not to kick up my heels too soon once things were pronounced 'Done'.

When he was discharged from the hospital 2 weeks ago, we accepted people's congratulations, but we knew we weren't out of the woods just yet. There will *always* be bumps in the road.
I mentioned that he had been experiencing some well known side effects of transplant but that it was being kept under control by his meds. Seems now that maybe those meds aren't really doing a good enough job. He has GvHD of the gut - so he's having a heck of a time keeping things down (and in, as it were). For the past week I've seen him try to eat/drink the smallest portions of things only to have it come back up shortly after.
This morning he felt so weak - disoriented. He called the head nurse & she advised him to get to the ER as quickly as possible. It was then that I realized we didn't have a very good contingency plan in place. He was too weak to take a cab by himself...I could go with him with Frankie in the cab, but then how long could I stay with him for? Do I want to bring the baby to the ER? We thought of who we knew with a car who was around during the day....no one, not really. So the ambulance came.

He'll most likely be kept for a couple of days. They are hydrating him & the probably switching around some of his meds which will hopefully put him back on track.

There is so much going on right now. G's dad is in the hospital in Hamilton - his cancer has metastasized - he's putting in one heck of a fight (32 year kidney transplantee!) I think G gets a lot of his strength from his father - it's so admirable.  I hate that all of this is happening at once. No, wait - I hate that all of this is happening AT ALL. Gord's mom & I said that we should go to an island after this & lay on the beach with fancy drinks "Without a care in the World!" - those words just kept ringing in my head over & over... without a care in the world. Impossible to imagine right now.


Julia said...

I hope this bump is the only one. You'll get to that island. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

I have been checking in to your blog every day to find out how things were going with all of you.

I know exactly what you mean about the island. I used to pick up my son from grade 2 and would stand to one side, on my own, listening to the other mothers complain about their petty problems. My husband was going through his first bout of chemo at this time and I couldn't help thinking how lucky those women were and they didn't even know it. They were like aliens to me, what was it like going through your day not worried about the latest test results, a spike in temperature, vomitting, etc. etc.?

I spent most days shuttling between the cancer clinic in Vancouver and home with two small boys and my husband who couldn't stop vomitting. I know exactly what you are going through and you will get to the other side, I promise.

It's funny how cancer makes your days slow down, how it can take over your whole life. One day it will be in the rear view mirror and you will both be better people because of it. You know what really matters in life and you will cherish every moment because you see it with different eyes now.

I also imagined a time when cancer wouldn't be the main focus of our lives. A time when my husband would become annoying again and that time has come :). Even 11 years after transplant he is still taking 10 pills a day to hold off his GvHD. It becomes the new foe, but they have great drugs now.

Sorry about the rambling on -- stay strong this IS only a bump.

Michelle and Neil.

PS your daughter in that red riding hood costume was very adorable!

nicole said...

Michelle - thank you SO MUCH for your comment. It helps so much to hear from people who have gone through (and survived) all of this. great to hear your are 11 years out! I hope to say the same one day, 11 years from now!