15 November 2011


Okay buddies,
I've started a new blog! A blog solely dedicated to what's going on in my world beyond knitting & purling. Heyawesome! Will continue to be my craft blog - caregiv'r is my blog about being a....err... caregiver.

14 November 2011

first bump.

When G was first diagnosed with Leukemia in 2007,  I quickly learned not to kick up my heels too soon once things were pronounced 'Done'.

When he was discharged from the hospital 2 weeks ago, we accepted people's congratulations, but we knew we weren't out of the woods just yet. There will *always* be bumps in the road.
I mentioned that he had been experiencing some well known side effects of transplant but that it was being kept under control by his meds. Seems now that maybe those meds aren't really doing a good enough job. He has GvHD of the gut - so he's having a heck of a time keeping things down (and in, as it were). For the past week I've seen him try to eat/drink the smallest portions of things only to have it come back up shortly after.
This morning he felt so weak - disoriented. He called the head nurse & she advised him to get to the ER as quickly as possible. It was then that I realized we didn't have a very good contingency plan in place. He was too weak to take a cab by himself...I could go with him with Frankie in the cab, but then how long could I stay with him for? Do I want to bring the baby to the ER? We thought of who we knew with a car who was around during the day....no one, not really. So the ambulance came.

He'll most likely be kept for a couple of days. They are hydrating him & the probably switching around some of his meds which will hopefully put him back on track.

There is so much going on right now. G's dad is in the hospital in Hamilton - his cancer has metastasized - he's putting in one heck of a fight (32 year kidney transplantee!) I think G gets a lot of his strength from his father - it's so admirable.  I hate that all of this is happening at once. No, wait - I hate that all of this is happening AT ALL. Gord's mom & I said that we should go to an island after this & lay on the beach with fancy drinks "Without a care in the World!" - those words just kept ringing in my head over & over... without a care in the world. Impossible to imagine right now.

08 November 2011

Home is where the High is.

Gord's been home for 6 days.
He's pretty exhausted most of the time & is dealing now with some of the well known side effects of transplant but seems to be kind of controlling it with meds.
As I type this he's playing guitar for Frankie who is happily bouncing away in her bouncy chair, letting out squeals of delight & clapping her hands together (her new adorable skill!) It's so nice to all be together again.

I'm feeling way more relaxed now that G is home & I've finally been able to get some pictures of recent finished knitting projects.

First off, Frankie's Halloween costume.

Tiny Red Riding Hood. I used Berroco 'Weekend' from my stash for this. No pattern really, just cast on enough stitches to fit around her (98? I think?, knit even & then k2tog'd a bunch at the neck edge. For the hood I just knit a big rectangle that fit around her head & then grafted the stitches together at the back. Then I knit a little tab for the front & sewed on 2 buttons.

I 'Pretty in Pink'd' her skirt by combining two dresses that are now too small for her. I took the crinoline from one & sewed it to the bottom half of a red checkered dress. Then I sewed rick-rack to some thick black elastic & attached it to the skirt for the waistband. She just wore a white onesie for the top. I made her some boots too, but they didn't fit properly so luckily she already had these snappy red check mary janes already in her closet.

Knitting for Frankie is pretty satisfying - she's small, so projects are pretty quick and also?


Totally adorable.

This is the 'Striped Elf Hat'. I used some unidentified sock yarn from my stash. I only had one 50g ball of it & it was more than enough. I cast on less stitches than the pattern said to (170 instead of 180) to fit my little lady's noggin & it worked out to be just right.

And last but not least, a little something for me! I cast on for the River Run Wrap in TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT. Originally I was making it for my friend Susannah, but then she asked me to make her an all over cabled cardigan out of fingering weight yarn so I decided she already received enough of my knitting time.
I ditched the whole 'wrap' idea & decided to knit until I got to the end of the second ball of yarn. I grafted the ends together (conveniently enough this was started way back when with a provisional cast on) and there I have it - a 2 loop cowl. I think I'll get a lot of use out of this. When I wear Frankie in the carrier, I definitely need something around my neck since my coat isn't done up & when I wear scarves she just chews & slobbers all over the ends of them.

I've been sewing a bit too - mostly sleep sacks for Frances. I've been asked to make a little tutorial, so I'm working on that but I'm learning how much I suck at taking photos as I go along. 

So that's it - simple days around here since we're pretty much living in a bubble for the next couple of months. It's okay though, it's a cozy bubble.

02 November 2011

champion engrafter.

How's this for an update?

He's coming home today!

(and I got a ton of tidying up to do around here so I'll write more later).

25 October 2011

day +11

Good news - he's engrafting!
For most of last week, his white blood cells were at 0.01, which is very, very low (.01 away from none?) on Sunday they went up to 0.04. Monday they were at 0.09 & today they are 1.1.  This means that the new cells are setting up shop & making new ones. He was getting platelet transfusions, but they've stopped giving them to him because those are also on a tiny little increase on their very own.
He's off the morphine they gave him to ease the pain in his mouth & he ate some food I brought for him from home - which was great because he said he could actually taste it!
Lots of little progress, which I am so pleased about!

I realize I have not blogged about anything crafty for a while - I'm still at it & I've finished up some projects that I just need to take some photos of. Sadly, knitting is slow going for me these days on account of I got a bad case of Mother's Wrist. It got so bad that even pulling my sheets up over me when I got into bed made my eyes well up. I got Dr's orders to wear a wrist brace *all the time* for 6 weeks - which suuuuuuucks but hopefully it'll help out my wrist. I can still knit, it's just not as fast or as relaxing as it should be for me.

I get in some knitting everyday though, and now I have a little helper:

22 October 2011

one week.

Sorry I'm not posting more, but the truth of it is that there's not much to write about!

Gord's blood counts are all way, way down in the dumper (right on schedule), he's tired, queasy, sore in the mouth, but generally he is doing pretty good - definitely better than I was expecting. I hope I'm not eating my words in a couple of days though. The nurse told him yesterday that now until engraftment (usually around day +18, we're on day +8 now) takes place is when he'll feel the worst. Here's hoping the next week & a half is just as uneventful as these first 8.

Yesterday after I picked Frankie up from the PMH daycare (which, by the way is such an amazing, amazing service offered by he hospital. I am really truly amazed by it!) I brought her up to the doors of Gord's unit. He's not allowed to leave & kids under 9 aren't allowed in, so I stood with her at the little window in the door so they could see each other. It was so nice. I think Frances was really starting to notice he wasn't around - she had huge, huge smiles when she saw him.

The daycare is closed on the weekends & Frankie has her 6 month check-up on Monday so I won't be back to visit him until Tuesday - these next 3 days are going to feel very long.

A while ago, I saw these alphabet rings from Catbird & immediately wanted them. Three of them. They arrived to me (after some fancy shipping arrangements) the other day & I am thrilled. I love looking down & seeing my little family hanging out on my finger together.

16 October 2011

so far, so good.

I meant to come on & write an update on transplant day but I didn't get a chance. I have no excuse, really, since the transplant was actually pretty boring.

We (Gord's mom, my dad & I) got there right when he was being hitched up to his new cells. It took about an hour. Gord was a bit dopey from the Benadryl they gave him so he just rested & I stared at the little red bag. The tiny bag full of new cells from someone (in Europe, but we know nothing more than that) dripped into him. Quietly saying 'Thank You'. Boring. Just the way they like it.

After it was done, he ate his lunch & felt awake & alert & hungry enough to ask that I get him some Ten Don from the Japanese place near by.

My mom stayed home with Frances & stayed over that night so I could visit with him on Saturday. When I saw him yesterday he was feeling mostly good, just super tired. And although he's the one who is going through transplant, I was the one who napped during our visit.

So now we just wait...for what? For him to feel shitty, which apparently is a GOOD thing as it means the new cells are making themselves at home & engrafting.

It feels weird to not be able to just go there & hang out with him all day like I've been able to do in the past. Luckily, Frankie seems to really enjoy the daycare at the hospital - although this week hasn't been good at all for her nap schedule. Babies are resilient though & this is just a short time (hopefully).

I didn't take any photos of anything that happened in the last couple of days so here's a picture of Gord serenading the Lady the day before he went into the hospital.  Ain't they sweet?

13 October 2011

The cells are in the building.
Friday at around 10:30am is transplant time.
He's going in strong.

Think of him. I really do believe in the power of many people sending positive energy at the same time.


10 October 2011


You know the sound of a train starting up? (If you don't, go to youtube & type 'train start up' and get lost in the world of trainspotters....then come back here). It's what I keep thinking about. This train's starting up & there's a lot of track to travel.

Gord was admitted into PMH on Saturday and promptly came home on an overnight pass. Hooray! We had Thanksgiving dinner at our friend's house & got home in time to put Frankie to bed & then he took a cab back to the hospital. He kissed me goodbye & I stood at the top of the stairs casually waving at him, telling him I loved him & I'd talk to him soon. Just like when he'd leave for work in the morning.

His transplant will be on the 14th, but before then he has to go through a really intensive chemo & full body radiation. That will (hopefully) kill off any tiny Leukemia cells that are squatting in his system & will basically make his blood into just a red liquid in his veins. Then, in what sounds like the most uneventful life saving procedure ever, they will inject the donors cells into him by way of IV. They said it will take about 20 minutes.Then we wait for engraftment. There. Just like that. Isn't science cool?

Of course we know it's not as simple as that but why get yourself tangled up in all that could possibly happen? We know there will be the regular cast of characters - pain, nausea, weakness, fatigue, high risk of infection, nasty mouth sores. They gave us extensive lists of possible & common side-effects and risks but I'm really hoping things go as smoothly as they possibly can.

During his time in the hospital the toughest thing will be not being able to see Frankie. Kids under 10 aren't allowed on the transplant floor. Luckily there is a daycare there that I can drop her off at while I go hang out with G. In fact, we're going for the first time tomorrow. I hope she does okay. I'm a little worried about naps. They told me that if I just tell them how I get her down, they'll do the same. Okay: feed her, put a soother in her mouth, put her in the mai tai, sometimes she needs a hat to cover her eyes & shut off the stimulation, then put on a record (usually I-Roy) & then pat her bum & sway. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.

So yeah - I'm knitting stuff & I got some fancy finished things to show off but I wanted to come & post an update & will probably use this space to let family & friends know what's up.

28 August 2011

Summer comes undone.

I'm sitting in the Living Room & for the first time in months, there is a cool breeze coming through the window.

This summer has been good. Really good. At the beginning of July G ended up getting Pneumonia and a fungal lung infection (don't worry! it gets better!). He was in a bad way for a couple of weeks. Despite being on a pretty crazy cocktail of antibiotics & feeling pretty crummy, he never spent a day in bed - he got up, got dressed & did the day.

I've filed this under the 'Count your blessings where you find them' category because his Dr decided to put his chemo on hold so that he could properly recover from the infections. G recovered fairly quickly (although still has some of the fungal infection) and so we were set loose. Nothing to do but nothing. We Lazily started our days making delicious breakfasts. Afternoon walks & naps. Playing & cuddling with Frances - still pretty amazed that she's ours.

She's growing so fast (already 4 1/2 months!) and what a beauty she is. I can already tell she's going to have a good sense of humour & she's really agreeable & easy going.

We went away to a cottage with G's family for 5 days. Amazing to get away - and I was sure to drink up every moment of it. All of this living it up made it easy to forget what else is going on in our lives..... oh yeah...... Leukemia.

I just want more of this. Forever. A peaceful trio: G+N+F. Is it so much to ask? Is it too much to hope for?

When we got home from our mini vacation there was a message from PMH saying they had a date for the transplant. October 12th. He'll be admitted on the 6th. In the meantime he's back on chemo to keep him in remission. Back to reality.

13 July 2011

how it's done.

Yesterday we sat in a room and waited. For a very, very long time. Gord's mom & dad & I finally met with the transplant team to find out what we can expect from his BMT.

It was pretty surreal - the Dr spoke so factually. They will kill all of G's marrow with mega-chemo & full body radiation - make all his blood counts bottom out at zero, fill him back up with stem cells from someone else. Some unknown person somewhere out there in the world. He went through the risks, of which there are many: cataracts, skin problems, mouth sores, future cancers, relapse of his own disease, organ failure..and more. He went over the pro: the disease could be gone.

I sat as I always do, taking in the information like a sponge, probably looking pretty nonplussed. Truth of the matter is I was listening to someone explain to me the mortality rates & percentages of success in relation to my partner, my best friend, the father of my baby - the man I knew I wanted to spend my olden years with within the first week of knowing him. For me there is no other option. He's got to get through it.

14 June 2011

summer knit.

We've had a couple of real scorcher days. We caved & turned on the AC & had the ceiling fans running (ceiling fans are Frankies favourite things!). Our freezer has homemade lemonade popsicles in it & our fridge is nicely packed with delicious seasonal fruit & vegetables.


And just in time for the heatwaves, I finished this:

Navajo Cardigan from the Patons book 'Anti Freeze'
Patons Classic Wool Roving

I started this sweater last May. I was hoping to finish it in time to bring on our trip to Newfoundland, but I only worked on it during lunch hour at work & didn't get it done in time & then it just lingered. When I packed up my stuff before going on mat leave, I found it neatly packed in a zippered bag & I promised I'd finish it. I made one big change - as written, the sleeves are too short for me so I did some math & charted them out & now they are perfect.

So...the sleeves fit, but the rest of the sweater is sadly too small for me at this time. When I began knitting this I was not pregnant & had no idea that my body would soon be swelling with a baby (and umm...like, several bagels & cream cheese). I ended up gaining quite a bit of weight in those 40 weeks & I'm having a heck of a time getting rid of it now.

I've tucked it away in a safe place & will hopefully get to wear it once the weather gets cold enough to need a big thick wool sweater.

Now that this is done, I am devoting what little knitting time I have to finishing a cardigan my friend Susanna asked me to knit for her FIVE YEARS AGO. I started it right when she requested it & then, well, stuff happened & my life went crazy & then it got lost in the land of UFOs. It's going nicely now though, and I have just one sleeve and a half to go. And guys? It's a beauty.

11 June 2011


Very! Important! Blog! Entry!

The first time Gord was diagnosed with Leukemia it was a shock. The second time he was diagnosed it wasn't so much shocking as it was unfair. We were angry! Why was this happening to us *again*? Right when things were getting so good, right when our little family was about to begin?

I felt foolish for not thinking for even a second that he could relapse. Of course he could.

When we met with his Dr, he told us that this time his best chance for long term survival without relapse was a Bone Marrow Transplant. His brother & sister were tested but unfortunately were not matches. Gord's been dutifully going through chemo, but he was starting to question why and what if it didn't work? To be honest, spirits were dropping a little around here.

Then last week....!

Last week he got a call from his oncologists office saying they have found a match(!!!!) It is still very early stages & he doesn't meet with the transplant team until July, but for sure this has pumped some air back in his tires. He is thrilled, I am thrilled. Transplants come with their own lovely list of complications & I know it will be tough, but what this means is that there is a good chance he will be around for years & years & (hopefully) years to enjoy our family.

Which is great because lately, he & Frankie have become total BFFs...

Now, how did they find Gordie a match? Through a mega huge database of possible donors. Wonderful people who have taken the time (approx 2 minutes) to put themselves in the registry. Want to be one of those wonderful people? If you are Canadian, check out onematch. For our American neighbours, visit be the match.

You will get a swab kit mailed to you & the it is as easy as...

swabby swab here
and a shwabber here...
And then a swabberino over here...
And then one last swab-a-lab-a-ding-dong over here...
Stick them in the slots (honestly, this was the hardest part)
And then mail 'er off!
Hopefully one day I'll get the call & I can pay it forward.


(FYI - I changed the comment settings on my blog, I think some people were having trouble - should be right as rain now!)

01 June 2011

whole lotta love.

What's been happening?

Some of this...

Some of this...

Often there is this...

But more often than that, there is this...

I figure we must be doing something right.

Gord's doing well - tired a lot of the time, but mostly good, I think. That might be easier for me to say than for him. We got through his first hospital stay since the baby without any trouble. It was hard for both of us - for him to be away from his baby & for me to be away from my babe. He was in for 5 days & we visited him only once. A lot different from the days when I could just go & sit beside him for hours on end. He's halfway through the consolidation bit - what comes after that is unknown for now - they are searching for a bone marrow match, but what if they can't find one? I wish could just wiggle my nose or click my heels & make it Go. Away. Oddly enough, having the baby around makes things a little easier. We have this super awesome person to take our minds off of the dark stuff.

It's hard to get lost in sadness when this is who you get to spend your days with.

11 May 2011

do the boob.


One of our most basic needs, and one I was having a heck of a time giving my little lady. I struggled with breastfeeding from day one in the hospital. For the first week of Frankie's life I was a wreck. I was a sweaty, topless banshee. I smelled like I had hiked the entire Bruce Trail.
I was told nursing may be difficult for me as I didn't have much breast tissue - but it didn't really hit me what that meant.

What that meant was that Frankie wouldn't ever be satisfied & would be screaming to be fed - and if she wasn't screaming, she'd grumpily fall asleep - probably just to take her mind off her hunger. She would then wake up...screaming to be fed.

So I called the Lactation services of the hospital & they comforted me & told me to come in - they told me they could help me.

And boy howdy did they! Breastfeeding brings with it so! many! emotions! - and the guilt I felt about not being able to provide my kid with her only real demand broke my heart. It made me cry several times a day. The lactation consultant I got hooked up with gave me back my sanity - she told me it was OK - she patiently held my hand & guided me through all my options; and I tried them all. Herbal supplements, tube feeding, finger feeding, nipple shields, pumping, formula supplementing, prescription meds, understanding that happy mom = happy baby & coming to peace with the fact that giving my baby formula was not going to mess her up.

Now I am weaning off the prescription meds (side effects are NOT cool - I feel worse 5 weeks postpartum than I did 40 weeks pregnant!), I am pumping, I am happy to be giving Frankie about 50/50 Breast milk/formula & although I am sad to not have to go to see the Lactation consultant anymore, I am glad that Frankie & I have hammered out some kind of deal & we are able to forge ahead on our own.

How to thank someone for getting me through the toughest thing I've ever had to go through?

No, it's not a curling stone - it's a knitted boob!

I wasn't sure how it'd be received but I'm happy to report that she loved it. She more than loved it - she squealed! It was like she had always wanted a knitted breast & now she finally had one. She even said they may call upon me to make more for teaching purposes.

Have a beloved Lactation Consultant in your life? Knit them a boob!

06 May 2011

can I get a hand?

I knew having a baby would mean that I'd have to give up some of my freedoms:
The freedom to sleep in
The freedom to go out whenever I wanted
The freedom to drink as many beers as I wanted when I when out
Heck, the freedom to go to the bathroom when I needed to?

But one thing I didn't really think about is that my freedom of using my hands, my arms would be taken away by my tiny boss. And really, I'm on the clock more often than not.

It's for this reason I'd like to get an Amen for the Baby Carrier. .

I started out using the Moby. This wrap is good for around the house - but considering it's 18 feet of jersey fabric, I was having difficulty imagining going anywhere with it. Because of the length, it takes a while to put it on & get it right & I had to watch several youtube videos to get it right.

But hey, it let me make & eat breakfast!

It has it's downsides - Frances doesn't like getting in it. Part of this may be my technique, but it takes a couple of minutes for her to remember that 'Oh yeah, I like being snuggled up in here...' BUT! She does not like to be snuggled up in there for very long & when her time is up it. is. up. And oh - she usually throws up upon entering the Moby - so there's one part near the front that's gnarly & when you wash this thing, it shrinks right the heck up & takes a bit to stretch back out.
She usually falls asleep quickly, but doesn't like her head to be tucked in the pocket for support - so I find myself supporting her head with my hand a lot of the time which defeats the purpose.

It sounds like I don't like the Moby, but really - this was the gateway to freedom for me!

Today I remembered that months & months ago I made a Mei Tai carrier using the tutorial at Still Learning the Game of Life
When I made it, I kind of shoved it aside as I doubted its usefulness. It seemed big & bulky & cumbersome. I wanted to be sure it was sturdy, so I used heavy fabrics & reinforced the Hell out of it.

Frankie is going through some kind of phase where she'll fall into a deep sleep when she's on my chest, but as soon as I put her down to nap it's fusspot city. This morning I put her in the Moby & we were fine for a while, but it got hot & sweaty in there & after about 45 minutes she was screaming to get out.

On a whim I thought I'd try out the Mei Tai - to see if it really was a waste of the afternoon it took to make it.



I love it! I like it a lot more than the Moby - there's nice air flow, there's more head support (thanks to the padded headrest!) and it is way, way easier & faster to put on. It's still pretty huge, and it might be a pain to use out & about, but still....

She did not scream or throw up when I put her in there!

Just more proof that handmade is often far superior.

(that being said, I'm DYING to get my hands on a beco carrier - which I think will be great for around town & for Gord to use.....but for now? Mei Tai it is!)

01 May 2011

gonna dress you up in handknits.

Hello from babyland!

Things seem to be hitting some kind of sort-of-rhythm. That 'rhythm' is eat, sleep, poop - but hey, I'll take it! At least 'sleep' seems to be a bigger part of the equation than it was that first week & a half.

I've even found a way to squeeze some knitting into my days. It is so nice to fit in some *me* time since our world suddenly is so All About Baby.
Still though, my me time seems still to find a way to be All About Baby.

Elizabeth Zimmerman's Baby Surprise Jacket.
Handspun my parents brought home from Scotland - I had about 1 yard left over. A very close call!
Nothing to say about this pattern that hasn't been said before. Fun to knit & fun to watch form.

'Cardigan Raglan' from La Droguerie's Tous le Bebes
Misti Alpaca Solids.
This pattern was *very* cryptic - or should I say 'cryptique'? I got it from a french book - so there were some educated guesses to be made, but I think I got it right & it fits like a glove. I started this 2 days before I went into labour & had one sleeve left to do. I finally found the time to finish it up last night. At the rate she's eating & therefore growing, this won't fit for long so it's a good thing I got it done.

Gord & I have had to blend our rooms together; My sewing room + his music studio stuff = WHOAH! That's a lot of stuff crammed into a tiny room! My main focus now is for real to use what I got & to finish off lingering projects.

Next up on my naptime knitting?

Yes! A sweater...for ME!

25 April 2011


Welcome to the world, Frances Marian!

When I woke up at 5am on April 7th, I wasn't sure if what I was feeling were contractions. I took a bath and tried my best to relax, but the discomfort wouldn't go away & seemed to be picking up pace. I texted Bianca, our Doula to tell her what was going on & she called me back & said it looked like we were going to Babytown that day.

In prenatal class we were told that early labour could last up to 12 hours - and that you should go to the hospital once contractions were 5 minutes apart for 1 hour. Mine went straight to about 2-3 minutes apart. Our awesome friend Avril came over to drive us to the hospital right smack dab in the middle of morning traffic & Bianca made it just in time (I was getting super edgy & was insisting on just going to the hospital without waiting for her to arrive). I kept looking out the window & thinking 'Everyone else is going to work...I'm going to have a baby!'

My labour was, quite honestly, wonderful. There is nothing I would have done differently, I progressed quickly through all stages, she came out with 9 minutes of pushing & Gord was able to be there for the whole entire thing - he cut the cord & got skin on skin contact with her right after I did. Having a doula was the best thing we could have possibly done - she was so awesome! It really made all the difference for us.

It's been 3 weeks now & I still cannot believe I made her!

I've scoured every inch of her body & there is not one single thing wrong with her.
The first week was pretty hairy - I was having lots of Breastfeeding issues, but things are starting to sort themselves out now.

She even spends some of her time with her eyes open!

We're totally in love with her. She's a real (Niagara) peach.

Now... to figure out how to get some knitting in!

05 April 2011

you give me fever.

One thing I was glad to say goodbye to the first time G went through treatment was the whole taking his temperature thing.

Every hour or so, he'd pop the thermometer into his mouth & I'd hold my breath until I heard it beep.
'What is it?'
'No fever.'


Now, again, the same sense of dread every time he slips the thermometer under his tongue.
He's been neutropenic since he was discharged from the hospital & we've been keeping a close eye on his temperature. Anything over 38 & we're supposed to go to the ER. So last night, he was hovering.... 37.9....38.2.....37.5......38.... finally, we decided to just go. Not really where either of us wanted to be, but it had to be done. I left him there at 2am, when we were told he'd be admitted - something, probably an infection but they don't know where, was causing the fever. (Props to the TGH triage nurse though - who, upon finding out I was very nearly 40 weeks pregnant arranged to have a more comfortable chair put in the room!)

So I came home & slept (uncomfortably) and today, apparently, he will get to come home. There's home care visits to give him (yet more) antibiotics & I am trying to stay rested & as relaxed as possible to keep this baby hanging in there until G feels better. So far, she is very agreeable.

03 April 2011

tiny knits.

Baby showers are fun - but even more fun when they involve pinatas! And adorable hand knits!

The lovely ladies at work threw me a wonderful shower before I left. A superb potluck spread, the Most Delicious Cake I've Ever Eaten, homemade pinata (!!) and a wealth of thoughtful & sweet as pie gifts.

Here I am with the talented pinata makers - it took many, many thwumps to bust this open - I ended up having to punch it open with my fists!

One of the (many) perks of working where I do is that my co-workers are very smart & talented. And they are knitters. So what happens when there's a baby on the horizon? The sticks get busy!

Adorable hats from Suzanne! I love the tiny tam!

And what's this? Svetlana sees a sweater on a baby journal & decides to show off by re-creating the sweater? Seriously - matching sweater & journal? My baby is one lucky lady!

Not one to be outdone, Gayle hit it out of the park with this tiny & perfect fair isle cardigan. So cute it brought tears to my eyes when I opened it up!

And just in case all of this wasn't enough - just on the off chance I wanted to be sent over the edge into cuteness coma, Julia served up this sugary sweet concoction.

Months ago, when being pregnant was my own special secret, Gayle came back from a trip to Paris with some wonderful pattern books from La Droguerie. I casually flipped through them, and then not so casually flipped out when I came across an adorable Strawberry Jumper & its matching co-ordinates. I became somewhat fixated on it - when the Ultrasound technician told us we were having a girl, the strawberry jumper was the first thing I thought of. Why then, did I put off making it? I couldn't find the right yarn, mostly - and then things got sort of hectic in my life & I didn't have time for searching. Julia not only re-ignited my Jumper desire, but she also included the yarn for me to make it! I'll be casting on shortly!

Along with these hand knits, came lots of other grade-A gifts. This baby is already spoiled!

And how's this for a heart-warming scene?

There's Gordie - knifty knitting a hat for the little lady. He's a total knifty knitter expert! He's almost done, which is a good thing since I'm only 4 more sleeps away from my due date!

29 March 2011

where the heart is.

That month went so much faster than I thought it would. Thank God.

Gord was discharged from the hospital on Saturday! Honestly, this couldn't have happened at a better time. I was really starting to loose steam. Going to work & going to the hospital (almost) every day was really starting to take a toll on me. Luckily, I had my last day of work last week & Gord is home & now I can relax. Kind of. It was my birthday on Sunday & honestly - all I wanted was for him to be home. It was nice to get my wish.

The nature of the new protocol G's on is different than the first go-around. There's way, way more hospital time. He's doing something called Hyper CVAD - which is 8 rounds of 'Cycle A & B'. Cycle A is done as an outpatient, twice a week going to PMH. Cycle B is given every 21 days (depending on counts) and requires a 10 day admit into the hospital. B cycle really does a number on him - mega high dose of some pretty brutal stuff. How we will work this with a baby in the mix is not yet clear, but I am so glad I don't have to also juggle work!

And me? Creeping closer to my due date, mindful of every single twinge & new sensation I feel -- wondering if any of it *means* anything. I'm nudging up to the 39th week & incredibly thankful (and somewhat surprised) that I feel this good. My feet aren't swelling, my blood pressure is nice & low, even my hormones are mostly in check. Hard to believe that some time within the next couple of weeks this little person will be in my arms & not taking up so much space inside my body.

They threw me a wonderful shower at work - I'll show off the goods in my next post. Lets just say, it's really nice to have knitwear designers as co-workers.

23 March 2011


I'm 37 weeks, 6 days. 2 weeks away from D-Day. Seems like only yesterday I was peeing on the stick & waking a sleeping & disoriented Gord up to tell him that there was something(someONE) growing inside me.

Things are mostly in place - we got diapers (a bunch of prefolds & covers), we got a place for her to sleep, a place for her to take a bath, and a bajillion tiny outfits. Now, all we need is a baby. And for Gord to come home.

Just need some tiny feet to put in these.

Gord's been doing well - some days are better than others, but on the whole I'd say the good ones far outweigh the bad. It's easy for me to say that though. He was able to come home for 2 nights last week on a hospital pass. It gave him the opportunity to see the painted nursery & make me dinner (!). I had 2 of the best nights sleeps I've had in about a month. There's a chance he'll be home this week, which is great. I'm really hoping to have at least a week of not doing much of anything.

Help has been coming in from all directions & it's been wonderful. I don't know what I did to win the friend lottery, but I'm sure thankful. Not being afraid of asking for help is a new & useful skill! I just hope I can repay all of these amazing favours some day.


15 March 2011


I get bigger & slower everyday.

It's incredibly frustrating because I want to be able to help G as much as I can, but the truth is - I'm loosing steam. Balancing work (only got 1 1/2 weeks to go!!), growing a tiny person & being there for my guy is sure taking a lot out of me. In some ways, the fact that this is a relapse has it's perks. We don't have the same worry & fear of the unknown. We've been through it before, we know what to expect. Energy is not spent worrying about what is ahead of us. I know all too well what's coming up.